


The Edge

by Macx



Series: The Post War Arc [2]
Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-04
Updated: 2011-06-04
Packaged: 2017-10-20 03:22:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/208226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Macx/pseuds/Macx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You cannot lock up your past. It always finds a way to come back; and when it does, it comes back stronger than you think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Edge

Sparks lay on the window sill, blissfully alone and napping. Megatron was currently somewhere about on Cybertron and the black cat had taken this chance to a) get some well-needed rest and b) get some really well-needed rest. The last weeks had been a constant strain, with Megatron's temper always close to the boiling point and threatening to erupt in an apocalyptic explosion. And he had erupted. Sparks' ears twitched. Yes, and he had nearly shot her. Well, he had singed her tail and since that incident, neither had spoken a word with the other.  
Things had been hectic, to put it mildly, and she had long since decided that his outbreak and the shot that had been fired had been an accident. He had nearly died, he had seen others die, his world was in ruins all around him and there were apparently some surviving Tji spread out over the planet. Megatron was furious about the results of the search for those survivors and everyone was avoiding being in the rough vicinity of the Decepticon leader if he or she didn't really have to.  
On one hand Sparks was that Megatron had someone else to yell at and wasn't looking for her, but another part of her missed him. As a kind of vent for his emotional overload, she received the first blows and one blow had left a lasting impression, something that had never ever happened before. She didn't think Megatron had done it on purpose -- though he might -- and she had always encouraged him to vent his anger before facing the world. The more steam he vented off inside the confines of his office -- where not only the computer screen regularly lost its short life but the wall also got some serious redecoration -- the calmer he was when facing anyone else.  
Sparks sighed softly into her furry tail, her circuits in 'rest' mode.  She and Megatron had a shared history of about five years and he had come to accept her by now, though he regularly kicked her out of the office. It was almost traditional. He wouldn't be Megatron if he didn't do it. Her pet side was closely bonded to her 'owner' and she despised it, but her personality side had come to like him as well. The cat gave a groan.  
Like him! Hah! Like a sore relay!  
Everyone even suggesting she was fond of the Decepticon leader would have soon found a pair of claws embedded in his skin.  
But there was no denying to herself that she did. She would protect him, and already had, she would defend him and had done so before.  
And he shot me for my troubles!  
Her tail twitched in suppressed anger. She couldn't fight it. Her emotions presented her with the word betrayal. Her rational mind said accident.  
After a while she felt a presence.  
"Go away," she muttered.  
But it didn't.  
"I said go away!"  
Again, it didn't. It stayed. She could feel the presence like a wall behind her and Sparks gave a small groan. She activated her video and the emerald green optics came to life. What she saw was a large monolith of silver metal that ended in a scowling face and red optics.  
"What do you want?" she asked. "Shoot me again?" Sparks could have hit herself for saying this but now it was out.  
Megatron's red optics flared once. Sparks kept on looking at him and then finally sat up, shaking her head.  
"So, what do you want?" she repeated her question.  
Megatron narrowed his eyes. "Where have you been lately?" he then demanded.  
"Since when did you care?" she shot back. "Found no new punching ball?"  
Megatron lowered his head to nearly her face level. "No, I'm missing your obnoxious fuzz face around my office, prowling in my quarters and snooping around." She met his optics, never flinching. "And I'm sorry about the tail."  
Sparks blinked. The last had been said in such a low voice that she was not trusting her own audio sensors. Had he just ....?  
"What?" she found herself asking.  
The glare intensified.  
He had! Sparks was astonished. She stared into those fiery optics, unable to say anything. Megatron straightened and then left, back ramrod straight. Sparks blinked, repeated the last sentence again, then shook her head. She hopped down from the window sill and automatically followed him, totally confused about what had happened.  
This was new. This was unprecedented! This was a first!  
And it wiped away whatever anger she had felt. Well, a bit of anger remained, as always, but it was the usual level of anger, not the one she had felt lately. She discovered Megatron further down the corridor, striding toward the elevators. The black cat grinned.  
Back to business!

* * *

Mel sat outside and watched the MoonBase rise over the horizon. From here it looked beautiful and peaceful, but in reality in was hanging between barely functional and scrap. She knew that Rodimus was currently thinking about giving the order to scrap it and begin anew. Still, it was a calming sight. She was here every night ..... every night since it had happened. Mel felt emotions race through her and swallowed a tight knot forming in her throat. She wondered how it was possible that she, who was so adept in reading emotions, was so easily overwhelmed by them. As an empath she knew all about the emotional spectrum and when at work she had to suppress her own to work with the others. Now.... now she wasn't at work and somehow all the bonds keeping her together were coming undone.  
A tear trickled down her cheek and she angrily wiped it away.  
It had been three weeks since the funeral and she still felt like it had happened only yesterday. As if she had been there. As if she had seen it. But she hadn't. Her father had been with her mother in those last minutes and he was the one who should get help by others, not her. She was strong, she was a professional, she was ...... hurt.  
More tears spilled out of her eyes.  
Her mother was dead, as were many friends. She had been through the initial shock, the tears and pain, and now she should turn her back on it and go on, but she just couldn't. It was impossible. Wherever she went she was reminded of Carly Witwicky.  
Burying her head in her hands Mel gave a ragged sob, feeling her chest clench in pain.  
Why? her mind cried. Why her and not someone else?  
She was shocked at that, but only slightly. So many had died as well and so many were still hanging between life and death. Many families were mourning their loved ones ....  
A hand touched her gently and she flinched a bit, surprised by whoever it was. Rubbing her eyes she turned to look at the visitor and met the dark brown, sad eyes of her brother. He silently sat down beside her and simply took her into his arms.  
This did it.  
Mel gave free reign to her tears and her body shook with the grief she still felt. Daniel only tightened his arms around her, his own tears sliding over his cheeks.

* * *

Time went by faster than anyone thought.  
It had been months now. Months since Ralyk had died, since the Tji had been defeated and Cybertron had nearly been destroyed. Since that time the Cybertronians had labored to restore their world to what it had been but it was quite impossible. South continent would take more than a few months to look hospitable again and even then, memories would remain. It would take maybe years to rebuild it into even a faint copy of its former self. Debris littered everything, burned and blackened towers rose like jagged teeth into the star-filled sky, and deep, ragged blast holes were standing out like stab wounds. Not even the combined efforts of Grapple, Hoist and the Constructicons, and with them their numerous helpers and the 'Dinobot Demolition Team', as the five Dinobots were called, could clear the ruins fast enough to help wipe the memories of the survivors. Nothing could do that. It was imprinted on everyone's memory tracks. Unicron's attack seemed like a mosquito bite compared to this. A quarter of the planet scrapped..... it could have been all of it.  
Deep down under the devastated landscape lay the doorway chamber. The rings were remarkably untouched by the destruction and sat silently in the room. Only two robots were down here frequently, others imply visited and never too long. Even though the existence of the doorway and the net of doorways out there had been accepted, many felt unwell in the presence of the alien device.  
Starscream had felt unwell when he had first seen the rings, but now they were nothing but old friends, something he had seen countless times and which held little mystery in itself. The doorway system was a different chapter. It was still a mystery and they had yet to understand just how it worked. But this had to stand back behind the current, more important business of finding out which links were safe to use and which had to bleed off energy. Those who needed to bleed off had to be rerouted somewhere. Nightmare was trying to come up with a way to do it, following several ideas, one concerning itself with bleeding the energy off into the partly empty back-ups here on Cybertron. He just had to figure out how. Those links who were apparently safe would be noted down and then tried out later. Raven would have to set the centerway and have a look whether or not someone could be safely sent through the connection.  
Starscream sighed a bit as he meticulously worked through the coordinates. He wished his sister was here. Sphere had been busy topside for the last months and they had seen less and less of each other. Starscream had never had any siblings before, neither brothers or sisters, though some of his fellow Decepticons came close to the definition. They were of the same design and construction, but there had never been such a link to them as there was to Sphere. Sphere was different. Their relationship had been based on nothing but a job and the fact that they had been trapped on the space station for centuries. But there was also a bond that ran much deeper now, a link to each other. They were related, they were a team and they complimented each other. A Gatekeeper and a Key. They had been through a lot, ups and downs, and they had come through okay each time.  
And with his new job as a brother had come a new duty. He felt he had to act out his 'right' as a brother to gently torture his sister now and then. Their small fights were as refreshing as they were challenging and he really missed that the most. It was amazing how easily he had fallen back into this routine as a brother when he had come back and he had to confess that he had felt very alone that time he had fought the Tji on his own.  
Starscream sighed. He wished he had more time topside, but instead he had a job to do here. It was what he was and it was important. They had to get this network of doorways working again. If Raven succeeded in her own project to preprogram the doorway control for some destinations then it would make a lot of things easier. Her declared aim was to cover at least some problems of the destroyed main control. Otherwise they'd need a Key for each destination and for even the most minor task. Preprogramming a few destination would help. But to do that she had to understand the finer workings of the controls, which had never been much of anyone's concern.  
"Got another one," Nightmare said suddenly, pulling him out of his musings.  
"Arry," Starscream read. "Okay, got it."  
And the work continued.

* * *

Spike lay on the roof of West Central's northern wing, eyes fixed on the night sky of Cybertron. Stars blinked here or there, giving the black space an impression of multiple eyes watching him out of the darkness. Sometimes he thought he saw a pair of blue eyes, twinkling with mischief or amusement, smiling at him, watching him, talking to him. It was a familiar hallucination, a day dream. He had seen those familiar eyes haunt him since .... since the funeral. He often caught himself looking for one particular star, a small one, very young, very much in the process of giving life to planets in its equally young system. He had called it Hope.  
Carly Witwicky's last resting place.  
"Spike?"  
The soft voice drew him out of his musings and he reluctantly turned his eyes away from the ancient eyes of the stars to the young optics looking at him now. The green was very intense, coming close to the emerald depths of Sphere's optics, but not too outstanding, though they were slightly more slanted than the typical Cybertronians optic shape. The robot was colored in a mute red, grey and black, looking a bit like he would easily melt into the background if you didn't concentrate on him. His name was Volta and he was one of the first Protogen forms to go on-line. Currently there were only four, Spike being one of them.  
"Hello, Volta," Spike now greeted the other one. "Anything the matter?"  
He didn't know how, but somehow, throughout the last weeks, between waking up and now, the new Cybertronians had decided to see a kind of leader in him. Maybe it was because he had been the first Protogen ever, but maybe it was just because he had taken over teaching them about their new home and their life. It was strange when you were used to the typical Cybertronian, the one born by Vector Sigma, that the Protogens appeared rather young. It had nothing to do with their comparatively smaller size. It was a simple fact. They were like children, though not like human children. They had a basic personality matrix, but they lagged what Disaster had called an 'imprint'. Vector Sigma had given life and formed the personality matrix after the wishes of the one who had activated him. These personality cores had been simply transferred into the spark inside a Protogen form and then left to handle life by itself. Even the Aerialbots, who had appeared somehow young and rash after their activation had changed perceptibly in the next weeks, learning fast.  
Volta, Domino and the recently activated Backdraft learned fast as well, but not in the way of a robot. They learned in a more human style, absorbing things, trying to work with them, disregarding things they didn't like. Cybertronians stored information like a computer; Protogen was more along a human brain's lines. This meant that the three new Cybertronians learned by experience and what their surroundings confronted them with.  
And Spike had taken over the teaching.  
"No," Volta now answered and sat down beside him. He was a bit taller, maybe by half his body size, but small for a Cybertronian. The same was true about the others. Goldbug had once joked that now they were finally building some robots his size and no longer such towering ones he had to look up to. "I just wanted to see ....how you are." He sounded hesitant.  
Volta was a very shy and hesitant robot, someone who was easily impressed by the abilities of another but who could as easily open up among friends and show that he had a deep running personality. He was soft-spoken and appeared rather inactive from time to time, but he could be aggressive when he needed to be. All in all he was a very likable character who just needed a push now and then.  
Spike sat up and smiled. "I'm fine."  
Volta tilted his head. "You were thinking again."  
Spike sighed, rubbing his hands. He knew how Volta meant what he had said. "Yes," he finally said.  
"And did you come to a conclusion?"  
"In a way. I know I will never be able to draw a line and I know my past will always be with me, but I think I made a decision." His eyes wandered over the city beneath, then up into the sky again where blue eyes smiled down on him.  
"Your past is always with you, Spike. You can't forget and you can't change." Volta shrugged. "I would treasure those memories. They are you."  
The former ambassador smiled. Volta was sometimes very mature and sometimes incredibly naive. He wondered how much was real and how much was an act sometimes. Right now he was real.  
"I do. I always will," Spike then said silently. "And I know I will go on. This means I have to change and I will accept the changes. I'm just not sure how much has to change for me to become what I expect of me."  
Volta met his eyes. "No one can tell you that, Spike. That is something you have to decide for yourself."  
He nodded. "I know, Volta. I know....."

* * *

Former Navy Colonel Jefferson Winters had to admit that Russell was a stunning looking woman, all crisp and business-like, her copper hair bound back into a tight pony tail, her suit impeccable. Her barely tanned face was set into a frigid, impassive expression and her green eyes were like ice cubes. Unsmiling, she looked at him as if he was something inconvenient for her and Jeff had to hold on to himself not to turn away and leave. He had promised Daniel to take their evaluator on the tour and he would, whatever freezing temperatures he had to endure.  
"Ms Russell? I'm Jeff Winters. Daniel Witwicky is currently indisposed and asked me to accompany you," he now said.  
She raised an eyebrow, disdain floating briefly over her features. "I see. I wish he had informed me sooner."  
Jeff thought that she might have a nice voice if she cut the edge out of it. Right now it was clear-cut and as unyielding as steel.  
"Well, he couldn't. Now, as far as I'm informed you want to take a look around the new settlements....?" Jeff asked conversationally, not inclined to fall into the trap of letting her provoke him.  
Russell nodded.  
"Follow me," he then said and lead her to the transport modules. This would be fun, he thought slightly sour. Kim would have to come up with more than just a noodle-and-meatball dinner for this favor!

*

This was truly inconvenient, but Catherine Russell had not come as far as she was today by letting inconvenient events stop her. She had wanted to interview Daniel Witwicky away from his robot friends, ask him a few innocent questions and also have a look at how the humans lived here. Now she was stuck with this guy. Looking at him she had to confess that he wasn't the worst of company she could have.  
Jefferson Winters had to be in his late thirties or early forties, as far as she could judge. He looked like he worked out regularly, his body slender and well-muscled, the shoulders broad. He had short, black hair, a square jaw and intense, grey eyes. But the most prominent feature was the scar tissue in his face. Running along his jawbone down his neck and disappearing beneath the cover of the jacket was a large net of whitish scars. It also covered part of his left temple and eyebrow.  
Still, he looked handsome and attractive. Russell stopped herself. That was the least the needed now! She was here to evaluate this planet's civilization, not go after the next best man she met!

* * *

The last weeks had passed in a flash and somehow Sphere couldn't say she recalled much of what had happened. She had spent a lot of time in med bay, either as the examinee or a volunteer to help. First Aid had everything under control, as far as it seemed, but since he and Perceptor were busy with the development of the containment units for the personality cores, the others had to fill in and do their best. First Aid frequently visited to help out, but Disaster and Pipes had more or less taken over the scheduling, repairs and counseling sessions, though counseling was still Melissa's domain and would stay it. Chaos and her Crash Teams were all over South continent to help and she only came back if she needed supplies, which were mainly shuttled to her anyway. And so where the Constructicons. Skywolf lend a hand wherever he was needed when he wasn't doing some other projects or taking some weight off Midnight's shoulders. He had taken a keen interest in Sphere's partnership with Ranora and was running all kinds of -- painless and totally harmless, as he always assured her -- tests. Ranora didn't complain, mainly because she was mostly in some kind of rest mode.  
Sphere was on her way back to her quarters when she thought about maybe paying Megatron a visit. The Decepticon leader wasn't around much, mainly responsible for the repair of the two flag ships in orbit around Cybertron and getting their defense systems back up. Cybertron was as vulnerable as a newly born kitten right now. MoonBase One had taken heavy damage and it was considered to scrap it and get up either a new space station or MoonBase. The Apocalypse was in dry dock and out for the count while Monolith was already operational again. Sphere had heard that Megatron was back on Cybertron right now, handling some bureaucracy stuff his way, probably butting some heads and kicking a slow supply run into working faster.  
They hadn't seen a lot of each other and except for a few conversations with Sparks, Sphere didn't know how things were going. She knew he had apologized -- well, in a way -- for shooting the black cat and that he was doing okay. She was still worried because he had died nearly twice on the repair table and lately he had shown a strange sensitivity to things. Sparks had told her he sometimes reacted incredibly itchy and no one had an idea why. It happened when he was on Cybertron and neither she nor anyone else had felt anything while Megatron was displaying this feeling of over-sensitivity. Sphere suspected it might have to do something with his slightly altered molecular structure. The fused-in synthoid molecules had to have some  kind of effect and not just 'make an engineer's life harder', as Hook had complained.  
The female Key sighed. Well, she might have to drag him into med bay one day to find out. He wouldn't go there voluntarily, she knew. Med bay and Megatron were two terms that didn't fit. He avoided it like the plague. And then there was the business with Ranora. He didn't know -- and he wouldn't like it. More trouble, more problems, more headaches, she knew.  
Just how much, she didn't have a clue, but she was about to find out.

* * *

First Aid stepped away from the large construction looming over him and a small smile flickered over his visor. He was done. Months of working nearly non-stop had paid off.  
"Looks good," someone said and Disaster gave First Aid a friendly pat on the shoulder. He smiled.  
First Aid nodded. "Now it only has to work." He shot a glance toward the softly glowing stasis units all over the place.  
"It will," Disaster said with conviction.  
The medic shrugged. He walked over to the device, which he called Containment One, and opened one side. A complicated array greeted him. He started to program something into the machine and it began to hum.  
"Shields are up," he then said. "Let's get the personality cores inside and then activate the unit."  
They worked silently and efficiently for some time until everything was in place. As First Aid continued programming, Disaster looked thoughtfully at the machine.  
"How do you want to copy Vector Sigma's abilities to give life?" he then asked.  
First Aid stopped. He seemed to frown. "I have no idea. We know how to give life to a Protogen spark unit, but we don't know if this works with a Cybertronian shell as well." He sighed. "We can only hope we find a way in the future. For now the cores are safe. Unit Two will be up in another week."  
They were under a lot of time pressure. Alpha Trion was growing weaker by the day and they had stored all the personality cores could manage in the first Containment Unit, and even one week might be a close call nevertheless.  
Disaster nodded and watched as the Containment Unit closed around the cores. One less problem to think about and the beginning of a whole new strand of problems for the future. They couldn't put all personality cores into Protogen forms, he knew. Protogen was still too new and the three active forms had to be studied and watched.  
Which reminded him ...... he had an appointment with Spike and the three new additions to Cybertron life this afternoon.  
"See you later," he said and left.  
First Aid only nodded and watched his new invention work.

* * *

IceAngel had been cut off from the Above for years now but she had always been up to date on all events, thanks to Ralyk and visitors coming down to the Inner Maze. Nightmare and Disaster were frequent visitors, as was the human Melissa Witwicky. She treasured those visits, though she couldn't say her life down here was bleak and eventless. The Inner Maze wasn't just a forgotten realm of the old Autobots, it was a treasure. She explored the world that was hers now and she kept data tracks on all her discoveries. Her visitors transferred them to the Council, who was very interested in the explorations. IceAngel was the only robot who had complete access to the security system, her eyes and ears as to what happened here, and thanks to that the Maze was no longer such an unknown and dangerous place. She decided who could enter and leave. Thanks to her a lot of renegades trying to spread havoc among the alliance had been caught. Many had decided to die instead of join what they called a 'vile corruption of the old ideals'. The former Gatekeeper felt deeply saddened about these deaths, but she accepted their decisions not to surrender their old ideals, as stupid as it seemed.  
When Ralyk had died, IceAngel had felt nothing of it directly, though the devastating shockwave of energy set free through it had come as far as down to the Maze. Few things had suffered and she was glad. But it also cut her off from her direct link to Above and visitors weren't coming anymore.  
Until now.  
The female robot watched the pair of Autobots approach the entrance to the formerly forbidden Maze cautiously, looking like they wanted to be anywhere but here. She decided not to scare or terrify them too much and showed herself in her robot mode.  
"Welcome," she said.  
The taller of the two flinched almost imperceptibly. "Uhm, hi," he said. "My name is Hound, this is Goldbug. You are IceAngel?"  
She nodded.  
"Rodimus Prime sent us. I'm not sure how much of what happened Above made its way down here...."  
"Almost nothing. I felt the shockwave, but I haven't heard from any of my usual visitors," IceAngel replied.  
Hound then gave her a brief update and it left her speechless. "Ralyk is .... dead?" she finally whispered.  
Goldbug nodded. "It saved us."  
IceAngel was deeply shocked, but she pulled herself together.  
"Rodimus would have come down here personally," Hound continued, "but he's kind of caught up in work. He would like to discuss getting some of the evacuees down into the Maze. Except for West Central, which is swarmed, we have no emergency quarters that are save enough for now. We are doing out best, but this was something we never expected. Most of Cybertron is still unexplored and I, for my part, wouldn't let anyone stay in the Badlands even in emergency situations."  
She nodded. "I understand. Still, the Maze is not very hospitable. It's a ruin as well, though probably less dangerous than Above." She smiled.  
Hound reflected the smile. "Well, anything is better than Above right now. We need to get quarters up and take the pressure off West Central, and right now the Maze sounds like the best option we have."  
Ice Angel nodded again. "You are welcome. I need some of you to work with me to give you details on the more hospitable areas and everything connected to it. Power lines down here are old. The whole Maze's condition could be called adequately functional."  
"That's all we need," Hound agreed. "I'll get a working com line down here ASAP and you'll get a liaison of a kind. Rodimus will be with you as soon as he can."  
"Tell him it's okay. He doesn't have to pressure himself to make this a personal request. I understand perfectly." Ice Angel smiled.  
"Will do."  
With that the two Autobots left.

Three hours later IceAngel was introduced to a Cybertronian called Jazz, someone she had met only briefly in the past, and who was to be her liaison. She immediately liked the Autobot, though his easy-going nature needed some getting used to. Next the first team arrived, asking for a briefing and then handling a detailing of the living areas. IceAngel was amazed by the speed they worked, getting everything planned, asking her to shut some of the more dangerous areas off as long as the evacuees were down here. IceAngel helped readily.  
The first wave of evacuees would arrive soon and for the first time in millions of years, the Inner Maze saw some life again.

* * *

It happened all of a sudden and later on no one could recall how exactly everything had played together to produce the necessary circumstances to let them discover something that could be either called a gift or a mutation Ralyk had given them.  
All started with Raven giving the silent centerway on Cybertron an experimental twist. She had set the coordinates to a known planet called Arry, mainly because it was a link not so heavily clouded with energy disturbances. There was nothing extraordinary about her powers. She was a Key and as such used to aligning doorways.  She began.

Midnight was on his way from Alean to Cybertron, using a personal Gate. The Sentinel normally took the warp gates, but he needed to be on Cybertron a lot faster than normal ways could provide and so he had Gated. Gating was a matter of seconds and normally wasn't very dangerous. Midnight was experienced in those matters and he had used Gates for millennia now.  
But then something went wrong.  
A Gate is a tunnel of energy, running like a vein through the fabric of space. Those tunnels can be accessed and shaped to the controller's will and desire, if he knows how. Midnight was one of those few Sentinels who knew the Gating process inside out and had no problem using these energy tunnels. His body acted like a key and a code chip, opening the Gate and exiting where he found an opening. In a way he used Gating like Wild Card used warp gates. He went out wherever he wanted to.  
Not this time.  
Midnight felt a flare in the energy field of the Gate and was suddenly flung forward. Pain lanced through him and instinct let him harden his exterior, organic skin. There was a hot, white light, then they were thrown out of the Gate with a force that equaled a nuclear explosion. Steve didn't even have time to blink as everything around them went totally out of control.

* * *

The transport tube was made for Cybertronians and was gigantic compared to what she was used to. Cathy Lee sighed as she entered. It wasn't her first ride but she wished it would be her last. She hated to be in here, always afraid to be trampled, always afraid her sickness would strike. Every time she met a Cybertronian she had to hold on to herself not to run out of the tube, breaking out in sweat. She had learned to control her feelings, had shielded herself, but it was not getting any easier.  
Taking a seat in the back of the tube she got out some papers and studied them. It had been an interesting trip to the settlement and she had to confess she was surprised how well the human had taken the war, had adjusted to it all, had even started to live a normal life. There were about three thousand humans on Cybertron and most of them had been here for years. They had built a city with schools, shops, a mall, restaurants, a theater and more. Everything looked totally normal down to the dubious bars and sleazy motels. It was amazing and frightening in one.  
The tube stopped and some of the Cybertronians got off, a few humans entered and two robots accompanied them. Cathy Lee only glanced at the humans, all dressed in work overalls. She knew this station was close to a new construction site and the tube was running toward West Central. One of the Cybertronians passed her, the other kept standing where he was. He was tall, like all of them, colored in dark blue and yellow. She looked at him.  
Cathy Lee involuntarily jerked back, eyes wide in sudden terror. She slumped back in her chair, her breathing irregular, her forehead clammy. Her entire body shuddered for an instant, then she slowly came around again. She wiped her forehead. It wasn't her usual sickness. This wasn't like anything she had ever felt before and it was even more frightening than her fear. Emotions she didn't even remember ever feeling before overwhelmed her and the world blacked out for a time, her entire being focused on something else. Something she had no idea of.  
And then it was over.  
Russell blinked, aware that she still sat in her chair, staring at the wall opposite, the tube somehow empty. She looked around and cursed. She had missed her station and nearly everyone had gone off already! Gathering her papers she got up to leave at the next station. She stumbled, her knees a bit weak, another shudder running through her.  
What was going on?  
She inhaled deeply. Maybe travel sickness had caught up with her. Maybe she was reacting to a prolonged stay on this alien world.  
"Are you okay, Miss?" someone asked and she turned, nearly losing her equilibrium as she did.  
A dark-haired man stood next to her, his grey eyes displaying worry.  
"Yes," she said, noting that her voice, at least, was totally stable. "I only missed my station because I seem to have nodded off."  
He smiled. "Happens to all of us now and then. You wanted to go to West Central?"  
She nodded.  
"Just get off at the next station and take the yellow line back."  
Russell nodded again and left the tube as it stopped. She still didn't feel back to normal and nearly walked past the human-sized escalator down to the yellow line level. Scolding herself for her inattention she finally caught the right train and arrived at her destination. Deciding first to go to her quarters she took the shortest way. Her head was starting to throb and by the time she was finally home, she decided she needed an aspirin. She managed to take two of the painkillers before she sank down on the couch. She was asleep a minute later, troubled by strange dreams.

* * *

"Does it ever stop?"  
Jill looked at her long-time friend, noting all the little lines, all the small gestures, the expression in his eyes, and she knew how to take the question.  
"No," she said softly. "It will dim in time, but it will never go away, Spike."  
Spike nodded as if he had expected that.  
"You can never stop missing a life partner," Jill went on, her voice taking on a distant note. "Your partner was a part of you for such a long time that it's hard to imagine a time without him or her. Going on is hard, but it can be done."  
Spike looked at the coffee cup on the table. He couldn't imagine a time without Carly, that was clear. He had lived about fifteen years without knowing her and then she had suddenly popped up in his life, an energetic young woman with an incredible skill concerning machines and an open, inquiring mind. She had breezed into his life and never left. Her personality had taken him unawares and dragged him along. She had even dragged along some of the Autobots whom she had grown good friends with. When Spike had become the ambassador to Cybertron he had always appreciated her clear and sharp mind, her open acceptance of each new person they met, her valuable input. Carly had been a person filled with life.  
And now this life was gone.  
Spike felt empty, like something of himself had died with his wife. And he knew it had.  
Jill laid a hand on his, squeezing it slightly. "You know it's your decision and I know you will make he one that if right for you."  
He nodded. He had promised Carly to continue. And he would.  
"Thanks, Jill," he said as he rose.  
"Any time," she answered.

* * *

"What happened?!"  
Nightmare stared at the centerway, shaking his head. "I haven't the slightest."  
Starscream punched some keys on the quartz control cube, angrily glaring at it when it didn't give him any answer either.  
Raven ran her fingers carefully over the surface of the outer ring. It vibrated gently beneath her fingers. "Something interfered," she then said.  
"I can see that!" Starscream snapped. "And it played hell with the system!"  
"From outside," she went on as if he hadn't interrupted. Her optics were focused on something only she could see. "A ...Gate?" She blinked.  
"Gate?" Nightmare echoed. He strode over to the intercom. "This is Nightmare. Give me a location on Wild Card, Spook and Midnight!" he ordered.  
"I'm here," Spook said with his dark, soft voice and slithered into the chamber. "I felt what happened."  
"Wild Card is in West Central and Midnight is reported to be on his way back to Cybertron," Blaster told the blue and black Gatekeeper.  
"Thank you." Nightmare switched off the intercom. "Any idea what happened?" he asked the ancient robot.  
"Like Raven said, something interfered with the energy stream of the doorway system. But it felt ....natural, like a part of the system."  
Starscream frowned. "Part of the system? Like us?"  
Spook nodded. "But new."  
"So  ..... this gets us to what?" Nightmare asked.  
"I have no idea," the half-serpent confessed with a faint amused sparkle in his optics. "You were opening the connection to Arry?"  
Raven nodded.  
"I suspect whatever entered and changed the energy flows has to be there. We could find out by opening the link yet again." He slithered closer.  
The black Key shrugged. "It's worth a try. You guys ready?"  
The two Gatekeepers nodded.  
"Let's do it," Nightmare decided.

* * *

Rodimus Prime looked at the pile of requests, sighing softly. There was no end to administration work. Shipments of supplies, handling of evacuees and the overflowing quarters of West Central, salvage missions, missing persons, alien ambassadors calling, reconstruction, doorway reactivation attempts ..... It was incredible how much could pile up whenever he thought he had a handle on one thing. Kup and Ultra Magnus, and even Cyclonus, had taken over a large chunk of it already, mainly security, repairs and the whole evacuation problem. West Central was truly overflowing with people seeking help, both Cybertronians and humans. It wasn't only medical help, but also administrative, psychological and general advice. The personnel of the new base was running low on nerves and high on both adrenaline and energon rushes. Shifts had been doubled and tripled but there was no end in sight. Small committees had been named to address each problem and though it was still chaos at work, it was at least a more controlled chaos. Since IceAngel had agreed to let the homeless stay in the Maze's old city Rodimus had one less worry. It was entirely up to Ultra Magnus to handle this now, though his reports were still landing on Rodimus' desk.  
That Cyclonus had willingly agreed to Rodimus' orders had surprised him briefly, then he had simply accepted it as the Decepticon lieutenant had accepted him as a superior officer. The alliance had truly changed things. While Megatron had been hanging between life and death in med bay, the Decepticons had turned to Cyclonus and Cyclonus had turned to the only Council member in any condition to make coherent decisions. It was so surprising that Rodimus had first thought he was dreaming. Of course, the Decepticons had somehow smoothly adjusted to being a part of the alliance, but now it showed for real. Cyclonus was trying hard to handle as much as he could alone, but since Scourge, the second lieutenant to Megatron, had perished in the battle, he was having difficulties of his own. But he managed.  
They all managed.  
Somehow.  
It was amazing to watch.  
Still, there were a few things he had to deal with personally, and this was one of them. It concerned the humans on Cybertron. There were exactly 3529 of them in two smaller towns which had yet to be named, bearing only coded names for registration work. Both towns had a mayor of sorts, just to keep in the spirit of Earth things. Most of the humans living there were workers who had sided with the Cybertronians when Earth had asked them to decide, and their families. The towns were flourishing, already registering several births, but there were still a lot of problems, the main being the difficulty of supplies. Earth had declared a trade embargo concerning Cybertron and nothing was coming in anymore. The first step, a long time before the embargo had taken effect, had been to install greenhouses to grow plants and trees. Breeding animals had been of little success and now they had fallen back on other planets' trades, getting edible meat to the humans.  
So Rodimus had asked Kup for help.  
Kup had connections to people he denied all the time but which existed. He knew all kinds of smugglers and free traders and those were exactly the people who were now getting them the needed supplies. Payment was no problem for now. Still, it was a lot of work, all going through him on official channels while Kup dealt with the unofficial stuff, which was even more. At least Rodimus wasn't privy to all the deals going on. He had enough with Earth trying to pressure them as it was and with Catherine Lee Russell making his life hard. Currently he was covering up most of the 'traders', logging them as simple supply ships from all over the universe but Earth. If Russell was snooping around in those particular files she'd find nothing.  
Rodimus Prime sighed and rubbed his optics. He felt like he was glued to his chair and his internal chronometer told him he hadn't had a break in fifty hours. It was starting to tell. He could run on his energon reserves for a long time, but now and then he really had to recharge. This felt uncomfortably like the first few months as Rodimus Prime after Optimus had died and passed the Matrix to him. This time Optimus hadn't died to make this work load almost collapse on him. Optimus was an indefinite leave due to his own problems, something work could only aggravate. First Aid had agreed with the younger Prime's judgment and given Optimus the stern advice to seek some relaxation. Somehow Rodimus thought this wouldn't work. Something was wrong with his friend and no amount of free time would cure it.  
He sighed deeply again. He had to handle that as well -- soon. Before something happened. And something would happen, he knew. He had no illusions about his partner's state of mind. He had seen and also felt it through the Matrix. But he had to get a handle on this work load first. Resigning himself to it for now, he went back to work.

* * *

The world around him was a beautiful forest with high spires of rock protruding between the trees, giving it an almost magical look. The sky was clear and blue, but clouds were gathering and told of maybe a small rain shower.  
Midnight looked at the doorway behind him, shaking his head. "I can't understand it!" he muttered. "What the hell happened?"  
"You came through the doorway," a voice said softly.  
Midnight turned and looked at his companion, the one he had found standing over him as he had been deposited -- rather hard -- on this world. The name of this planet was Arry and the Gatekeeper's name was ShatterX. Faceted eyes reflected the light coming through the canopy of trees. ShatterX looked fragile with her slender, graceful legs and the wasp-like body, but she could take on an army and not lose a leg. Gatekeepers had been designed for strength and power and their bodies only hid this fact.  
"I know, but how? I was Gating back to Cybertron when ...." He shrugged. "I don't know what. Something dragged me here."  
ShatterX looked at her doorway, then at Midnight. "I felt a change in the power flux, then the rings moved and you came here." She walked over to the construction and gently touched it. It vibrated under her touch, reacting to its Gatekeeper like nothing else would. Gatekeepers were imprinted on their doorway and only the death of a Gatekeeper or the destruction of the doorway ended the bond. "Something happened, like an interruption of the flow."  
"But how?"  
ShatterX frowned a bit. "A centerway connected to the doorway and then something interrupted." She looked at him. "Did you interrupt the energy flow in any way?"  
"I don't know. I can't interfere with a doorway, ShatterX!"  
"You can Gate."  
"Which isn't the same."  
The Gatekeeper still looked at him. "But you did something."  
Midnight sighed. "I wish I knew. Since I can't get back through the doorway, I guess I just Gate home when my power levels are back to normal -- hoping I won't end up somewhere else!"  
ShatterX chuckled. "Well, until then, how about giving me an idea what is going on in the world out there?"  
Midnight shrugged. "Sure. Got somewhere comfy to sit down? This will take a while....."

* * *

Sphere stood in the 'wilds' of Cybertron, emerald optics aflame, hands clenched at her sides, shaking with rage. Inside the Host space, Ranora lay and watched, unable to help her Host. She had been witness to the fight and she knew why it had happened. It didn't help to make her feel any better because she was the reason for it.  
Megatron had been indeed on the planet and Sphere had found him in his office, close to mistreating the computer terminal because the data stream had slowed down due to construction sites all over the area. It was a well-known problem and currently memos as well as direct communication was faster that mainframe access. Sphere had had to smile, but the smile had vanished when she had noted that Megatron was going through the already known stages of sensitivity to something no one else detected.

Megatron looked up, puzzlement and anger fighting for the upper hand. He looked around, then his optics came to rest on Sphere.  
"Again?" she asked.  
"Again what?" he shot back, voice rough and unkind. She knew he hated this strange and mysterious feeling.  
"You are picking up something no one else seems to feel," she explained and approached.  
From the flash in his optics she decided that the strange feeling was increasing. She would have liked to interpret it as something concerning only the two of them, but she knew this was not the case. Something else was responsible. A tiny voice in the back of her mind whispered a reason but she didn't want to believe it. That couldn't be!  
"A glitch in the circuits," he growled.  
"Then go to med bay and let someone check you."  
"No."  
She leaned forward and saw him flinch almost imperceptibly. The voice grew in strength. "Why?"  
"I have work to do," he hissed.  
"You have a glitch, as you call it, and you seem to be influenced it! Get someone to have a look before it turns out to be something major."  
Ranora stirred inside her, strangely disturbed as well, and suddenly Megatron erupted from his chair, optics aflame, staring at her. Sphere stiffened. That couldn't be! How could he feel her? How could he be sensitive to a Tji presence..... unless....  
Sphere felt a tremor pass through her. Ralyk had confessed to changing some Cybertronians, mainly the Council. She had thought it was to keep them safe from a Tji takeover, but it had done more. It had given them .... abilities. Powers.  
"No...." she whispered.  
His optics narrowed dangerously. "You! It's you!"  
Sphere met the confused optics. "I think .... but not solely. You have had these feelings before.... when you were out in the battlefield."  
"Yes, but they were never this strong!" He eyed her closely as if he expected the slender female to transform into something hideous. "What is this?!" he demanded.  
"I'm not sure, I can only tell you what I think happened." He glared and Sphere sighed. "Ralyk changed you. It told you, I suppose."  
"Yes," Megatron growled.  
"Well, it gave you safety concerning a Tji takeover, but it also left you with something more. A kind of gift." She hesitated. "Did you feel anything when it died?"  
"Satisfaction!" he snarled.  
She sighed again. "Anything else?"  
Megatron frowned and from his expression she knew he had, though he didn't confess to it out loud.  
"I think Ralyk left you with a power, something it had as well..... the detection of Tji energy forms."  
Megatron's face went totally expressionless for a second, then she could see a storm of emotions battling to break through and his optics flared with fury. "What?!" he roared. His mind made the next connection and the fury turned into nothing but absolute rage. "You!"  
Sphere stood her ground. "I made a choice to help."  
"You took this thing on?!" he yelled.  
Sphere had told Megatron all about her abilities as a Host and he knew just what this Host space in her chest area was. He had been amazed and intrigued by it, as well as slightly put off. He hated the idea of Interfacing; he found it to be an abomination, though he accepted those who had Interfaced. That Sphere could willingly Host another life form had resulted in utter disgust at first. And now she had taken a Tji as a Guest.  
"I made the choice not to let Ranora die. She did not take me over and I'm not under any other control than my own mind," she explained calmly.  
Megatron's rage was almost a physical being with a life of its own. "You gave your body to this thing?!" he hissed.  
Sphere thought he sounded like Starscream. Her brother had reacted exactly the same way, but he had accepted her choice. From Megatron's expression he was not inclined to do her this favor.  
"No. Only the Host space. Ranora has no control over me."  
"Get it out of there."  
She blinked. "What?"  
"I said, get it out of there!" he snarled again.  
"Excuse me, but this was my decision. I'm not one of your warriors. You can't order me to do this!" Slight anger was audible in her voice.  
"This creature is the enemy!" he snapped. "I won't tolerate it inhabiting your body shell!"  
"Well, fine! But you can't order me to do anything about it, Megatron!" she snapped back. "Whether you tolerate it or not, Ranora is currently part of me!"  
Irate optics glared at her, their heat enough to melt titanium steel. "This thing killed my people! I won't have it safely tugged away inside you! How can you give this abomination a chance to live while it let your own kind die?!"  
Sphere drew herself up to her full height, which was still about half a head smaller than Megatron. Anger coursed through her like liquid fire. "Ranora is not an abomination. And you are either extremely prejudiced or xenophobic or both! Not all Tji are alike. Veneran and Tji are even the same race! She won't hurt anyone!"  
"How do you know?" he whispered, voice like steel. "Can you read its mind? Can you control it? Can you hold it if it decides to invade you or get out?"  
"Ranora can't leave the Host space without my help," Sphere said coldly. "And though I can't read her mind, I can feel she tells the truth."  
"Feel!" Megatron mocked. "Maybe those Tji changed you when they had you as a prisoner!"  
"Stop that!" she whispered angrily, reminded of what Starscream had said. Her voice was relaying a warning, but Megatron didn't hear.  
"Why? Hit a nerve? How much Tji are you already, Sphere? How much of your mind is still left and how much of your body was already raped by this creature?"  
"You are paranoid!"  
"Yes, and it's what kept me alive for all those years!"  
Sphere's optics had taken on a neon bright green and countered the red glare with their own fire. Megatron only seemed to take that as more challenge. He leaned closer, his voice barely above a whispered hiss.  
"Maybe that's why you suddenly decided that I might be a worthy partner for you," he told her. "To spy on me and the Council, then report back to your friends. Did you like it? Did you enjoy it? Did your Tji friends enjoy it?"  
And Sphere hit him. Her hand connected with his cheek, slapping him hard, the sound bouncing off the walls of the room. Her fingers left a five-fingered bruise on the silver surface, the impact more than enough to leave a lasting impression. Her optics were aflame with a fire not unlike Megatron's and her face was an icy cold mask. Then she turned around and left, leaving a stunned Decepticon leader behind.

Sphere was still feeling the pain the last words had evoked inside her. Yes, she had spent time among the Tji, locked up in an interrogation chamber, their inquisitors probing her mind for a crack, finally invading and nearly managing to crack even the rest. Her Host space had saved her from that, but it had left marks. She had managed to come back and she no longer hated the whole Tji kind for what had happened, but Megatron's words had hurt her a lot. This sting had been deeper than she would confess.  
::His fear talked, not his mind:: Ranora whispered, the first words she had said since the incident.  
::He's a xenophobe! And paranoid!:: she said angrily.  
::And isn't he allowed to be? You handled what was thrown at you. He didn't::  
"Sis?"  
The voice out of the real world let her turn and she smiled as she discovered Starscream. He joined her in her lonely vigil over a devastated landscape.  
"Hi," she said.  
"What are you doing here?"  
She shrugged. "Thinking." Blowing off steam would be more like it. Sphere was not a violent person and she wouldn't start shooting at innocent ruins or break the air speed limit, but she needed some time to get her temper under control again.  
"He found out, right?"  
Sphere gave her brother a surprised look. Starscream smiled wryly. "Yes," she finally said.  
"And he took it even worse than I did," he concluded.  
"Much worse." Her hand had hurt quite a bit after slapping him.  
Starscream's smile grew even more wry. "He never was much good at controlling his outbursts."  
"You have to know," she teased.  
The former Decepticon chuckled. "Oh, yes. So, you two broke up?"  
She smiled humorlessly. "I'm not sure there was anything to break, Starscream."  
He regarded her silently. "I think there was, sis," he then told her seriously, no teasing or mocking in his voice.  
"And how do you of all people know?"  
"I know him, remember? I've known Megatron since the wars and I was his second-in-command long enough to get to know his workings quite well, though he sometimes pulled something even I didn't thought him capable of. And knowing him I noticed little things. Changes ..... changes you invoked."  
She looked at the ruins around her again. "But I changed as well, Starscream. I'm not the one I was before. A lot of forces changed me and the result is not ..... very amusing for some."  
He laid a hand on her shoulder. "You are you, sis. You never changed from the person I got to know, from Alyssa Dycran. A new body can't change a mind. What Ralyk did didn't alter you, only how you look to the world."  
She gave him another surprised look. "A lot of depth from a guy who was as paranoid as Megatron and even more prejudiced against other life forms."  
Starscream gave an uncomfortable shrug. "Live and learn."  
Sphere smiled again, this time with more warmth.  
"Give him a while to cool off," he then advised. "He'll work through it." With that he turned and left, taking off and transforming as he went.  
Sphere watched him, then sighed deeply.

* * *

Cathy Lee Russel just sat there, her stomach churning, her body trembling.  
This couldn't be true.  
They couldn't mean this!  
Biting her lower lip she stared at the silent, dark screen. She had heard the words and she had seen and recognized the person speaking them, but she couldn't believe it!

"It was a three-month contract!" she said, voice controlled as always.  
The man on the screen smiled pleasantly and she had the sudden notion to strangle him. Alan Baldwin was, technically, her superior, but in real life he had always come second. She had had the good deals, the important meetings, had shaken the right hands and made her way to the top. He had climbed the career ladder a lot slower but he had arrived on a higher level just a month ago. He had tried to play out his supposed power, but she had shielded herself against this.  
Apparently not well enough.  
"You are good at what you do, Catherine," he said, still smiling. "People appreciate and like what you do on Cybertron. We don't want to lose this input."  
'Input my .....' she thought furiously.  
"How long?" she asked.  
"One year for now, but you can expect an undetermined period," Baldwin told her. "See it as another step on your career ladder."  
Russell felt cold inside, but she didn't show her sudden panic. She stayed the same outside as always. She knew the game Baldwin played. She had played it herself many times before. The 'career ladder' was just an excuse to move uncomfortable persons out of the game and neutralize them in another position. The players gave the person in question the feeling that this new position was an improvement to the old one, that he had earned this. In reality, their superiors tried to get rid of them, sending them preferably somewhere where they'd sooner or later face their own, personal hell or were the personal hell for their new superior.  
Yes, that was how it worked and how it was played.  
And now she had fallen from a player to a victim.

Russell inhaled deeply, feeling her Xenophobia rise and this time with more violence. She had always been xenophobic, since her childhood, and getting a job with the foreign office should have been the least of her career choices, but here she was. Her career had been shaped by her parents who had always been Anti-Cybertronian. They had raised her like this, had indoctrinated this hatred. Throughout her college years she had tried to change her behavior and she had poured all her energy into her career. She had focused on it, had never looked back and her confidence into her abilities had grown. She had made a lot of enemies and that was why she was here today.  
Furiously, she grabbed a cheap paperweight and threw it against the wall of her office. It shattered into a thousand pieces which fell to the floor. Calming down immediately Cathy Lee looked at the mess of shards. That was her life. All those years of education and hundred-hour weeks. All gone. Her life had gone straight to hell. Shaking badly, Russell felt like vomiting. She was forever stuck on this metal planet, among giant aliens and alien sympathizers. Not that she had anyone to go back home to, but still.... She dug her hands into the armrests of her chair, willing herself to stop shaking, but it didn't work. Her stomach heaved and she barely made it to the bathroom. It seemed like she was spending an increasing amount of time doing this.  
Later she curled up in her bed, still trembling, tears gathering in her eyes and finally spilling down her cheeks. Had any of those who had met her and who she had offended since she had arrived on Cybertron seen her like this, they would have been surprised. Cathy Lee Russell, the Ice Queen, nothing but a trembling, crying wreck. She sobbed silently. She didn't like her image, though she had always nurtured it. It was like a shield, something to push people away with, and it had always worked. She had to be like this or get hurt. And among aliens she had to be even more like this. She couldn't show her fear.  
Russell's sobs grew stronger, choking her, and her empty stomach rebelled again. She didn't have anything left inside and the dry heaves were even worse. She lay in her bed, as far away from sleep as she could possibly be, her mind awhirl. The high ceiling of her quarters had been replaced with a torrent of images, the next always more terrifying and horrific than the previous one, each inducing even more fear. She looked across at the clock on her nightstand. 3:21 am. Curling up again she wished this was nothing but a bad dream, that she would wake up the next morning and laugh at this foolish nightmare, that she would walk to the cabs down in the street and get to work, that she could keep on paving her way to the next step in her career.  
But it was all real. Frighteningly so.....  
And then, suddenly, something enveloped her. It was soft and warm and gentle, and it told her things were okay. The touch was like an embrace, giving her security, understood her.  
Confused, Russell forgot about her Xenophobia for a moment. The feeling was like a gentle hug from an invisible person. A shield was erected around her, keeping her safe. Tears were still sliding down her face, but she was quieting down.  
<Everything is okay> a warm voice said and there was more, though not in words.  
She inhaled deeply. She had no idea what was going on and her exhausted mind and body simply surrendered.  The presence stayed with her as she wrapped herself into her blanket, huddling into the bed, and then fell asleep.

F/X sensed the human fall asleep and carefully withdrew his presence. It hurt him to see the woman like this, so confused, so much in pain, so hurt. He knew her pain sat deep, that it was fear and anger mixed together, nurtured and hated in one, a deeply-rooted Xenophobia, the fear of everything alien. It was like a barrier between them, something that threw him out of her mind, something icy cold or fiery hot sometimes. He could only touch her in those vulnerable moments, when she was without her shields, and F/X always suffered with her.  
He sat back and stared at the floor. He had not realized he had Interfaced right away, but in time he had felt a difference between his usual half-Interfaced state and his current condition. He had Interfaced and he was taking it well, but not so his new partner.  
Catherine Lee Russell, a woman who hated him because he was different and didn't even know why, and someone who was now a part of him. It hurt him, but he also knew that there was no changing it. He had accepted it and he would accept her.  
He hoped that in time, so would she.

* * *

The hum of the doorway was nothing but a confirmation of something ShatterX had picked up already. The female Gatekeeper had stood up all of a sudden and walked to her doorway, tilting her head. Midnight kept his distance from the construction. He watched as the rings began to move and the humming increased.  
A distant roar could be heard.  
"Something is coming through," ShatterX said, almost to herself.  
"Friendly?"  
She smiled. "You never know."  
Suddenly light exploded out of the doorway, vanishing abruptly. For a second, there was stark silence, then something rushed towards the two robots like a large tidal wave. Midnight had seen it dozens of times, but it was always a spectacle. Something funneled away from the rings, reaching towards him, then abruptly collapsed back into the doorway. ShatterX had taken on a battle-ready stance, prepared to fight off intruders. And then someone stepped through the doorway.  
"Nightmare!" Midnight exclaimed. "Raven!"  
"Hello, missing person," the larger robot said with an amused smile.  
Midnight laughed. "Involuntarily!"  
"I can believe that. Hello, ShatterX."  
The other Gatekeeper nodded at her colleague and the female Key on his shoulder. "What happened?" she wanted to know.  
"We're not sure yet. Spook said something entered the network and traveled along it." Nightmare looked at Midnight. "Your entry was not registered as a violation but as an authorized entry and exit."  
"What?! But ..... how....?"  
"That's what we need to find out. We know that the corridor to Arry is energy free and can be used safely, but we have no clue as to why you were drawn in."  
"Maybe the Gating triggered it," Steve said thoughtfully.  
"Maybe." Nightmare rubbed his chin. "But it never happened before." He turned to ShatterX. "Any unusual readings when Midnight arrived?"  
"No," she shook her head. "A normal activation."  
Nightmare sighed. "We should get back and have a closer look at both you and the readings. And maybe we should run another test with the doorway and you."  
Midnight shrugged. "Okay."  
They said good-bye and Raven activated the doorway, sending them back to Cybertron. ShatterX watched the rings slide back into their old position, then shrugged as well and transformed, flying off into the sky on glittering wings.

* * *

"What?!" Midnight stared at Skywolf as if he had just told his leader that Braintrust was back. "F/X?!"  
Skywolf nodded. "I ran a scan on him after he came into med bay complaining that he felt more sensitive than usual. And then he said he felt most sensitive concerning one Catherine Lee Russell. He can feel her pain, her confusion and her emotional turmoil." The old medic shrugged. "I think it happened."  
Midnight sat back his desk and shook his head. First the doorway mystery, now that.  
"I can't believe it! F/X was always the most sensitive one of us to Interface links and I hoped that it would happen one day, but Russell?"  
"Interfacing works in mysterious ways," Skywolf said with a grin.  
"Tell me about it! Does she acknowledge it?"  
"Guess."  
Midnight sighed deeply, rubbing his forehead in a very human gesture of resigned pain. He knew there would be trouble.  
"F/X asked me to let him work it out alone," Skywolf continued. "You know he won't suffer from the link because he is always half-linked to Interface candidates and telepaths anyway. He's used to it and I don't expect complications. He won't react the same way Tornado did all those years ago."  
Midnight nodded tiredly. "Does Russell know what this means?"  
"I don't think so."  
"Then someone should talk to her," Steve now said, raising one eyebrow.  
Midnight smiled wryly. "Feeling suicidal today, partner?"  
Steve shrugged. "I'm open for other volunteers."  
The two Sentinels exchanged looks.  
"Wouldn't hurt to at least introduce her to what she is going to have soon enough. F/X only said not to pressure her to link with him through phasing. I think he knows something about her we don't." Skywolf looked thoughtful.  
Midnight nodded. "Leaks. At least nothing leaks from his side. She might snap if she suddenly gets images from him. Okay, Steve, talk to her. Maybe it helps." Midnight didn't think so, though.  
Catherine Lee Russell wasn't known as the Ice Queen because she had such a warm and understanding nature. Having her link up to F/X was nothing short of a miracle and the young Sentinel leader wondered what kind of a team those two made.  
An interesting one was the only answer he could come up with.

* * *

Sphere sat in her quarters, cross-legged, optics dimmed, hands resting on her knees. Her back was ramrod straight and there was a strange crackling energy running through her hair. When she had been human she had meditated a lot, mainly before taking on another Host job. It helped her relax, open her mind for the new Guest she would soon receive, help her Host space accept it. After her death and rebirth as a robot she had sometimes done meditation exercises as well, mainly to calm her frazzled nerves to keep herself from strangling Starscream.  
Now she did it to help both herself and Ranora with their partnership. The Tji had come back to strength lately and she took an active part in Sphere's life. And maybe she was changing her life. The fight with Megatron had shown her just how much she was changing and though she was used to being a stranger and outsider, this time it had hurt.  
::I am sorry:: Ranora whispered.  
::It wasn't your fault:: she sighed. ::He's a narrow-minded xenophobe!::  
::He is afraid of what I am and what you became. You have to understand his side of the argument. He fought my kind only a few months ago and lost his friends. You know it as well as I do::  
Sphere sighed. Yes, that was correct. Still, she had always fought prejudice and she had once won against Megatron concerning his prejudice and she knew she'd win again. It would be a long and maybe painful fight, but she would. Except for him, only First Aid, Rodimus and a few others knew that she was Hosting the Tji. Rodimus wanted it that way and he had made quite clear that he was not about to accept a permanent partnership between them. Ranora had agreed. She wouldn't want to be inside Sphere forever either, hiding and keeping a low profile. She would leave when she was strong enough and Sphere knew it would be for the best.  
Suddenly there was the sound of the door sliding open. She heard footsteps she recognized, stopping in front of her.  
"There is such a thing as knocking," she said, still staying in her meditation pose.  
"Would you have opened?" was the cold question.  
Sphere didn't move. "Maybe."  
Several seconds ticked by.  
"What do you want?" she then asked.  
"Talk."  
"I think we already did that." Megatron gave a hiss. Sphere wasn't inclined to move an inch and help him here. "You told me all you wanted to," she went on. "You made your point. I understood." She thought she felt the heat of his red optics on her. "You know where the door is," she added.  
"Is that thing here?" he asked unkindly.  
"It doesn't concern you."  
His presence was even closer now and Sphere had to hold on to herself not to jump up and deck him. All her instincts screamed to pay him back for what he had said.  
"It does. Is it?" Megatron repeated his question.  
Ranora moved inside her. ::Talk to him, Sphere:: she whispered.  
::No!:: she growled.  
::You care for him and he cares for you::  
::I made a mistake opening myself up to him! I won't make that mistake again!::  
::You are stubborn::  
::So is he::  
Ranora smiled. ::As a warrior I agree that he deserves it. But someone has to make the first step::  
Sphere moaned with indecision, then sighed. "Yes, she is here. You know she is. You can feel her, can't you? It's your gift."  
Anger swamped over her. "It's not a gift! That meddling creature changed me!"  
Sphere finally looked up, her optics their usual strong green color. She looked right into the red depths of a fire she had experienced many times. They were familiar optics.  
"Ralyk only gave you what it thought might be of help. There are still Tji out there who are out to get a body shell."  
Megatron leaned forward. "Like that thing inside you?"  
Sphere glared back, battling her rage at his words. "Ranora is not a thing. And she didn't take me over! Do you want to continue this argument or did you come here for something else?" She rose gracefully from the floor, body tense.  
The Decepticon leader watched her walk over to her computer terminal and log herself back into the system.  
"No, I didn't come to fight." He touched his cheek where she had slapped him.  
"Then what do you want? I have to work!"  
Megatron fought a silent battle with himself and his hands clenched into fists. She knew he was trying to say something that would make him jump beyond his own shadow. The problem was, he wasn't used to it and it would probably crack his voice processor.  
"I ....."  
She continued waiting, not giving him any help. He had hurt her deeply and if he really cared, he would tell her.  
"I take back what I said ....," he finally ground out and it sounded like it was the worst he had ever been forced to say, something humiliating and painful. And for Megatron it was. "Some of it anyway," he added defiantly.  
Sphere had to smile secretly. "And which part is that?" she asked nevertheless.  
His face became icy. "Nothing concerning the creature inside you!" His optics glowed a deep red.  
"I know," she finally said when the silence became almost oppressive. "I didn't expect you to." She approached him.  
Megatron had this strange expression again but this time she knew he was feeling the Tji inside her.  
::Ranora?::  
::It's okay, Sphere. I don't mind a little time to myself:: her Guest replied.  
Sphere erected all her shields around the Host space, cutting Ranora's presence off from Megatron. He was visibly relaxing. His lips twisted into what he called a smile.  
Sphere looked at him. "Thank you nevertheless."  
Megatron met her optics for a second, then turned wordlessly and left. Sphere regarded the ceiling as if looking for a universal answer to Megatron's problem, then shrugged. Time would tell where their relationship was going now.

* * *

The pressure on his mind had eased lately. He no longer felt like he was suffocating, though his problems were still unchanged.  
His world lay in ruins.  
His life had been changed forever.  
Too many had died.  
His mind had been strained beyond belief, tortured by an alien invasion -- all within seconds. But seconds had been enough to change his life forever.  
Optimus Prime stared out over the landscape in front of him, feeling a familiar, feverish fire inside of him. His left hand twitched. Still, deep down inside of him was a very calm center which was spreading out a fine net of calmness throughout his body.  
"Optimus?"  
He turned

\-- facing a gray-hued robot, evil optics burning into his mind....

\-- and looked at his second-in-command who was currently filling in as Autobot leader.  
"You wanted to talk to me?"  
Optimus shook himself. Yes, he had, hadn't he? He wanted to know what was happening. No, he needed to know! All he saw was devastation and all he felt was the need to know what was done to battle the despair. Pain and destruction, loss and death. And the leader inside of him cried because he wanted to help. The injured part recoiled and told him not to go out there. It brought back bad memories. It brought back pictures of Things.....  
And then another voice surfaced.  
He's keeping you in the dark about it all, it whispered. He would never have told you about Rikkochet!  
The voice dragged out memories of the injured Venerakkin and he winced. When he had heard about what had happened he had tried to see her, but the 'kkin kept her isolated, guarding all their injured closely, warding everyone off. Including him. He had bitten down the rage he felt about this, the fury, and had left.  
Now the fury crept up out of its depths. It began to boil.  
And what about the captured Tji? Did he tell you about it? And where this evil creature is? And the casualty list! He's hiding it! What about rescue missions? Who survived?  
Optimus felt like disconnecting his audio sensors to stop the voice, but it was deep in his mind. It droned on about how Rodimus kept him in the dark.  
They are trying to remove you from your position. Tell you that you're insane! Rodimus doesn't need you to rule!

Rodimus didn't like the look in his older friend's optics as he turned and looked at him. There was a strangely cold expression there. A hard and unyielding stare that accused, judged and passed a verdict. He didn't like the verdict at all!  
"Why don't I get any reports, Rodimus?" Optimus now asked, his voice totally calm.  
"You are on extended leave and you put me in charge," Rodimus answered slowly.  
"Wrong. You decided that I needed this leave. You and First Aid. And you put yourself in charge."  
Rodimus blinked. "You were injured and I'm your second-in-command. It was natural that I filled in for you."  
Optimus' gaze turned a few degrees colder. "As were you. We both healed and now I'm back."  
"Optimus, you need time away from this all," Rodimus tried.  
"Why? Because you are in charge now? Because you would have to surrender your power again?" He smiled icily.  
"You know that's not true."  
"Oh? Why? Because you always tried to wriggle out of command when the Matrix was passed on to you? Don't try to fool me, Rodimus Prime! You are a Chosen One, aren't you?! You want to be back in charge!"  
Rodimus blinked again, unconsciously moving back as his friend advanced. "Optimus .... listen!"  
Optimus grabbed and shoved him roughly against the wall, his optics aflame with cold blue fire, his hands digging into his armor. In the center of those cold optics something else stared at Rodimus and it chilled him more than anything.  
"You want to be leader again." The voice was still calm. It was eerie. There was no insanity or madness there.  
The strange something in the optics grew larger.  
"No! You are the Autobot leader and you always will be! You bear the Matrix!"  
"Matrix," Optimus said, almost dreamily. "Yes, I do, don't I? But it's no longer the symbol of leadership, right? It's nothing but an empty shell. They already turn to you. You were the leader and you are leader now. And you want to stay it."  
"That's not true and you know it!"  
Optimus leaned closer. "What do I know? Only what you let me! You keep me locked away in here!"  
Rodimus shivered. He had never faced anything like this before. Optimus wasn't mad or insane, but there was a dreadfully emotionless and cold center of interstellar ice inside the older Autobot. Somewhere deep in his mind was the old Optimus Prime, but the sheer pressure of the telepathic injuries had catapulted him beyond the horizon of reason and rationality.  
"Optimus," he made another attempt, aware that the grip on his shoulders was crushingly painful, already breaching his outer skin.  
"Shut up!" Prime hissed.  
Rodimus' mind flashed back to a time when he had faced Optimus like this before. Well, not quite like this, but something coming close to it.

"I don't wanna fight you!"  
"Then stop me!"  
"How?"  
"You should have finished me!"  
"Believe me ..... I tried!"

Not again! he prayed silently.  
"You need help!" he whispered.  
Optimus' blue optics flared and suddenly his fist crashed into Rodimus' stomach area, doubling him over.  
"Shut. Up."  
And it was only the beginning.

* * *

"You are nuts!"  
Jefferson Winters had to grin at the exclamation from his robot partner. "I always knew that, Wild Card, and you should have learned it in the last years as well."  
The Sentinel smiled. "Yes, I know you were a bit nuts, but now you lost it completely, in my opinion. You won't stand a chance. She'll freeze you up in a second, my friend."  
"Maybe, maybe not."  
"Jeff, the Ice Queen is not inclined to open up to one of her own kind. Steve, tried to talk to her about Interfacing, and even before that she treated Daniel like he was some kind of lower life form! I don't want to recall how she treats any Cybertronian. We all know."  
The former Colonel nodded. "I know."  
"And you still want to try."  
"I was like her once, Wild Card," Jeff said calmly. "It was before I met my wife, maybe even after we married, but she changed me. She inserted a crowbar into the first crack she saw in my armor, my shields, and kept on opening it until I had to give up."  
"And now you want to wield this crowbar," Wild Card said, giving his partner a curious look.  
"In a way, yes. Without help I'd still be an emotionlessly cold career officer." Jeff shrugged. "I know she isn't what she projects."  
"But can you get her to accept not only a friendship but also the Interface?" Wild Card asked the important question.  
Winters looked thoughtful. "I'm not but I'm willing to try."

* * *

They were still alive. Not many of them, but enough to have the hope of continued survival and to hatch thoughts of revenge. Ralyk's energy had had devastating effects on the Tji army and the survivors knew that they were vulnerable right now -- if caught unawares. So the few warriors had banded together and sought secure shelters. The ruins of South continent were more than enough shelter. It was too big a place to find the few Tji and they had also figured out how to evade search teams. They knew they were hunted and instead of fleeing they had decided for the offensive. They hunted as well. Of course, they had to preserve energies, but a dead Cybertronian body shell was nourishment as well.  
Epprem wasn't out for a new body shell. His own was still fine and good enough for his purposes. Epprem was a warrior and the defeat at the hands of something he thought of as nothing but tools, slaves and lower life form had been humiliating. He was out for revenge for all the pain and humiliation he had had to endure and the death of his comrades.  
And now he had a target.  
He moved in, smiling to himself.

* * *

Shanygn jerked out of a peaceful nap on her couch, mind ringing loud alarm bells. Something was wrong and it was coming in over her Interface link.  
[Roddy?]  
[It's okay] was the slightly strained sounding and distant answer.  
She frowned. The tone of voice and the general feeling she had told her more than anything that something was terribly wrong. She tried to get through the link again and failed.  
Shanygn's frown deepened and she did the first thing she could think of -- except for homing in on he partner and Gating to him: she contacted Silhouette.

* * *

F/X never saw it coming. Something struck his left leg and it buckled beneath him. Energon spilled out of the deep wound. Another shot hit home and burned into his thorax, destroying circuits, skin and wires. His skin blistered, pain searing through his body. F/X screamed and doubled over, clutching the wound, which was already bleeding copiously. His knees gave way as agony swamped him. Somewhere someone laughed, but his mind was shutting it out. For him, only pain existed.  
Acid!  
His mind was feverishly trying to get through to him, yelling that this blast had contained acid which was now eating away inside of him. But it had no chance against the maddening pain. He tried to move, tried to fight it all, but there was no way to make his mind and body connect anymore.

Cathy Lee Russel gasped and nearly dropped her papers.  
PAIN!  
It went through all her shields like liquid fire and straight into her mind.  
"Fox?!"  
The exclamation came without a second thought and she didn't know why she had done it. She tried to scrape together her shields, but it was nearly impossible.

A spear was wrenched out of her upper leg and pushed viciously into her stomach, tearing apart vital parts, evoking excruciating pain.

"No!!" she breathed and she fell back into her chair.  
Her hands flailed over her desk, searching for the com link button. She got a connection, but she had no clue who the voice on the other end of the connection belonged to. She didn't even know if she made sense as she called for help.

Energon spilled out and pooled on the floor. A gun blast tore into her and she felt the pain travel along her nerve endings.

She moaned and felt her stomach heave. Russell made it out of the chair and staggered over to the bathroom, blindly grabbing for a bottle of pills.

Someone grabbed him, pulled him to his feet again, which resulted in another scream of pain. For a while he was totally out of it, unable to focus, riding out the pain, whimpering now and then. He flashed back to awareness and agony once in a while.  
F/X gasped.  
Something loomed over him. It was a robot he didn't know, but he was marked as a Decepticon. And it was a Tji. Unmistakably.  
"Say good-bye!" the creature hissed.

She frantically twisted the cap off, white pills spilling into the sink and onto the floor because she was shaking so hard. She scooped up two of the strong pain killers and swallowed them. Resting her hands on the sink's rim she forced herself to relax, waiting for the pills to do their magic. After a while her stomach quieted down, though she was still shaking badly. Looking up she met her reflection in the mirror. She was frightened by what she saw. She hadn't realized how bad it was. Her eyes were lying deep and gaunt, her cheeks had caved in and her hair seemed to be graying before her eyes.  
She swallowed. Make-up had hidden this for a long time but not now. Without make-up she looked like death warmed over. Russell moaned softly and looked away. She knew what the reason for this was.

Pain racing along her body, her mind aflame.

No! Her mind screamed in a different kind of pain. No, this couldn't be true!  
Her Xenophobia struck but the pills counteracted her nausea. She shook so badly that it hurt but at least she didn't have to throw up. Her head was spinning wildly and she was confronted with images she knew weren't her own. Something terrible had happened to F/X.....  
So what?  
..... She had to find out what it was .....  
No!! It didn't concern her! She had a job and she would do it!  
"Fox?" she whimpered, sliding down the wall and curling up against the bathtub.  
Her tears wet her face and she cursed herself for breaking down and crying yet again. She had always been so sure about her abilities, so confident that she was in control. Now this control had slipped away, starting from the moment she had been sent here to this damned world to the moment she had met this robot.  
Another shiver passed through her and she bit into her hand until it hurt.  
F/X. The Sentinel. Fox......  
Every time she thought of him it was as 'Fox'. It was as if he had a second name that was both obvious and still only known to few. Those close to him.....  
Russell looked at her hands, which were shaking badly, and her throat was dried up. All blood seemed to have ceased flowing through her body. She felt close to the borderline sanity-wise.  
She was linked to this creature.  
Closing her eyes she tried to lose herself in the darkness rising inside of her. For once in her life she had no option left to her. Everything was a dead end.

* * *

First Aid and Skywolf had been alerted by the team that had found F/X and they had been ready within minutes. And now they had their patient on the repair table. It looked bad, really bad. He had lost a lot of energon and his wounds were deep and many circuits had been totally destroyed. They went to work immediately.  
None of them noticed the small, pale human in the baggy shirt and the washed-out jeans, hair disheveled, eyes lying deep in their sockets. Those eyes held a haunted look and roamed over the badly injured Sentinel like search lights. Tears glistened in them and her hands angrily wiped them away.

* * *

Somewhere else, Soundwave stopped his work. He tilted his head and listened to something only he could hear and only because he had opened a part of his receptive mind to watch and monitor. And his target was always Optimus Prime. He wasn't spying, just carefully observing.  
The strange spike he had received before returned, just more violently.  
Soundwave flinched. This wasn't good! Not good at all!  
When the spike's fluctuation changed even more he left his work lying where it was and almost ran out of the room at full speed.

* * *

Cathy Lee Russel had left med bay, ignoring everyone around her, just as everyone ignored her. She didn't look the slightest bit like the sophisticated, crisp and business-like red-head who had made no friends here since she had arrived. She had showered and changed into her business dress, but even after she had applied her make-up she still saw the pain and the fear in those haunted green eyes.  
I can handle this! she thought furiously. It doesn't affect me!  
It had to be a concept of her mind, like her Xenophobia. In a way it was, but then again, it was totally different. It was much, much more.....  
She arranged her hair and applied the finishing touches to her make-up. Steeling herself, Cathy Lee walked out of her quarters, banishing the images assaulting her non-stop into the depth of her mind.  
They didn't go away.  
Fleeing into a storage room she fell against the wall, groaning, hands pressed against her ears as if this could shut out the voices. It didn't work.  
F/X going down.  
Pain and confusion reigned, his mind reaching out for her.  
Russell moaned. She had to get to her meeting, she had a few reports to go through..... Fighting down the nausea she finally left the narrow storage area and walked on.  
She had no clue how she made it through the meeting later on, she only knew that she was back in her quarters three hours later. The moment the door had closed after her she collapsed, breaking out in tears, her make-up smearing and her mind replaying the images over and over again.  
"Leave me alone!" she screamed.  
She staggered over to the kitchen area and nearly spilled coffee all over the counter before she could fill a mug of the hot liquid. Her revolting stomach settled down slowly and reluctantly and she wished she had some harder stuff around. She wished she could drink herself into oblivion, just to get rid of the images. Her stomach churned.  
Cathy Lee looked over to the fridge and shuddered. She hadn't been able to eat much lately and except for a chocolate bar here or a sandwich there she couldn't remember a warm dinner or lunch. And she couldn't keep down much anyway.  
Closing her yes, Russell leaned back, wishing her head would stop throbbing.  
..... Need to go to med bay .....  
No! He can stay there on his own! I don't care!  
.....He needs me .....  
And the next conscious moment she was in med bay. She had no idea how she had arrived her, but it felt right. Her limbs seemed to be made out of lead and she was bathed in sweat. She was alone here and Cathy was thankful for it. Her eyes were drawn to the blue and yellow colored robot and her body started to shake badly. She staggered away and bumped into a medical terminal.  
<Cathy?>  
She choked out a denial and turned away, her legs giving way and she fell down. Her wrists hurt from breaking her fall and her body felt like it would have some nasty bruises in the morning.  
"Leave me alone!" she moaned.  
Someone touched her.  
She screamed, but it was only a gasp.

F/X looked at the slender, red-haired woman who had curled up on the floor, shaken by sobs, her mind a mess. He felt emotional pain and despair. He wanted nothing more than to help her.  
"It's okay," he whispered, kneeling down.  
The Interface link screamed and he wished he could simply open it and phase, but it would worsen things, not make them better.  
"F/X?"  
He shook his head at the almost inaudible question from Skywolf. "No," he whispered.  
The medic gave him a look of dismay. "You know you can't go on like this," he said, his optics on the shaking human who was totally out of it.  
"I know, but I won't force it..... Just give me time.... Alone...."  
Skywolf understood the hint and retreated, leaving the two totally unlikely partners to themselves. He knew that F/X could handle this incomplete link because that was his usual condition. Some saw his ability to halfway Interface with others as a gift, some saw it as a curse. He could be described as a telepathic Sentinel, only that he never transmitted, only received and only small amounts. It was enough, though. It could hurt and Skywolf didn't want to see his friend get hurt. He knew that the incomplete bond to Shanygn had hurt F/X and though he had been happy to see her and Rodimus Interface, he had been hit pretty hard.  
It had been a touch and go for a while concerning F/X's injuries, but the Sentinel was tough and he had survived ..... just to have this woman Interface with him. Skywolf didn't understand Interfacing as much as he wanted to and this was one of those occasions where it left him wondering what good this would do his friend.  
F/X gently lifted the trembling woman up and carried her over to a separate room. She didn't even protest, simply curled up tightly, her hair hanging into her face, fists pressed into her eyes.

Russell ignored her companion, hugging herself, refusing to look at the robot. But it was impossible to ignore him. Her mind screamed at her to face him and finally she did. The gentle blue optics meeting her were nearly enough to drive her over the edge again.  
Compassion.  
Understanding.  
Friendship.....  
Not alien, just a friend. No, not 'just'..... a partner, a mind link.....  
Her mind roared in hatred at the thought of something alien in her mind and she felt sorrow and sadness deep in there......  
"I'm sorry," F/X whispered. "I didn't want this to happen."  
Cathy Lee shivered and felt tears again.  
<Cathy?>  
"Get out of my mind!" she yelled.  
F/X flinched back, looking hurt but also understanding. "Sorry again...." he whispered. He sighed a bit.

He was in so much pain and totally confused. He had no idea where he was and all he remembered was the attack.  
The spears.....

She shuddered. "Why are you doing this to me?" she whimpered.  
"It's not me...."  
She knew that but it still came from him and it was his mind linked to hers. "I don't want it!" she cried. "I won't be linked to .... to...."  
"An alien," F/X finished. "I understand."  
How could he understand? How could he even come close to realizing what her Xenophobia was??  
The link..... The damned link to her mind.  
"Get out of my head!" she demanded, her voice shaky, one step from oblivion, her nerves spent.  
Alien emotions. Alien pain. Alien mind.  
Alien is bad.  
Alien is evil.  
Alien is dirty and cruel.  
Cathy Lee whimpered as her old fears overwhelmed her. She couldn't link to an alien. -- But she already had!  
"Cathy, I never wanted to hurt you," F/X whispered. "Believe me....."  
Oh, she did. She knew he hadn't wanted this, that he would never ever hurt her in any way. She knew so much about him that it frightened her even more than the link, which was the reason for this knowledge.  
"We could separate...." he went on.  
"Impossible," she whispered. "I know all about Interfacing from your friends."  
"Yes, but we can go our different ways without hurting the link and each other if we..... if we complete the link...."  
Russell grew even paler than she already was, her eyes wide and totally gaunt. "No!" she yelled, trying to get away from him. "Don't you dare touch my mind! Get away from me!"  
Alien is bad.  
Alien is evil.  
Alien is dirty.  
Her mind was wracked by old indoctrinations. She tried to bury herself into the wall behind the bed, shivering.  
"Cathy....."  
She shook her head, desperation and fear overwhelming her.  
"Look at me." The voice was hypnotic and warm.  
She lifted her head against her will, looking into F/X's optics through a haze of tears.  
Deep blue. -- Caring.  
Dark blue. -- Compassionate.  
Bottomless. -- Trust me?  
Yes....  
And the world went white.

* * *

First Aid heard the alarm and he knew it was nothing good. He raced down into the chamber of Vector Sigma where several Autobot and Decepticon helpers were running around like an ant colony, picking up personality cores which were dropping to the floor. Chaos was in the middle of the this commotion, shouting orders, her voice still calm despite her loudness. When she saw First Aid she simply acknowledged his presence with a nod. The Autobot medic took in what was happening and he knew everything had just gone critical.  
Alpha Trion was losing his hold on the few remaining cores and they were dropping through his ectoplasmic body one after another. His color was changing rapidly to a darker and much more sick looking blue-gray and he seemed to be rippling or trembling.  
"Alpha Trion?" First Aid asked, stepping around the bustling helpers.  
"Weaker ...." the old entity whispered, voice barely stable. "No ... more .... strength ...."  
They were losing him, First Aid realized with cold dread.  
"There is nothing we can do for him," Chaos said as she stepped to his side, her voice emotionless. "We have no experience at all with ghostly presence. I can't feed him energy. We tried that before. It nearly tore him apart."  
He nodded. He knew that as well.  
Suddenly Alpha Trion's body stretched in impossible angles, blown up from the inside, wispy tentacles reaching out toward the ceiling and walls.  
"Duck!" Chaos screamed and pulled down First Aid who was staring at the spectacle with wide optics.  
A brilliant explosion of light cascaded over them, hurling those to the floor who had not followed Chaos' advice. As suddenly as it had happened, the light disappeared, leaving a stunned group behind.  
Chaos was the first on her feet.  
"Get the personality cores secured!" she shouted, her voice echoing through the room, jolting everyone into movement. The scurried around to get the glowing cubes which had survived the explosion secured. There were dozens all over the place.  
"Great Cybertron," First Aid whispered, totally shocked.  
Chaos briefly placed a hand on his arm in shared sympathy and pain, then tended to her task, leaving the stunned medic to his own devices.  
Alpha Trion was dead.

* * *

Optimus felt an electric jolt run through him and his optics widened.  
He couldn't move.  
His mind encountered another mind.  
An alien mind.  
Inside him.  
No! he screamed, but no sound could be heard. The scream only echoed in his mind.  
In front of his eyes, a Tji manifested, glittering, slithering, twisting, pseudopodic tentacles reaching out for him.  
Fury crept into his consciousness and he attacked the entity trying to possess him.  
Inside him, the Matrix screamed.

*

Soundwave stormed into the room, his highly sensitive receptors still bombarded with the agony and emotional pain of another individual who was broadcasting this to every empath or telepath in the vicinity or even beyond. He had watched Optimus Prime closely lately, keeping a mental eye on him. He had not actively scanned him but he didn't really need to. Even without active scanning the telepathically inflicted wounds were quite visible. And now everything had boiled down to a showdown, with Rodimus Prime trapped in the middle.  
Using his own telepathic powers, Soundwave slammed a wall down on Optimus Prime, startling him, pushing him effectively off course, a course which would have taken him right toward the younger Prime again, maybe inflicting permanent damage. The Autobot leader stumbled, shaking his head, then turned around, focusing feverishly bright optics on the Decepticon. Soundwave immediately saw that he was targeted as the new enemy. He was just about to send a telepathic spike to disable the other robot when he felt something swift and small lance past him and wrap itself around the injured mind like a protective shell. He looked down and, to his surprise, discovered the human empath Melissa Witwicky at his side. Her dark brown eyes were trained on Prime. She was blind, her eyes damaged by a doorway explosion, but she saw more than the normal human and she also had the Net implant that gave her superior sight to any organic being. Soundwave watched as Optimus Prime stopped once more, confusion settling heavily over his features, shaking his head. Then he stared at Mel.

Melissa Witwicky focused all her attention on the injured mind in front of her. She wrapped an empathic shield around it, strengthening it as she felt him trying to break through, and then tried to calm him. Colors swirled around her, mad displays of pain and terror so bright that it drowned out everything else. Mel rarely touched a mind like this because it was too straining on her own mind as well. Normally she only touched the surface and calmed the patient, then retreated. Most never even knew she was there. But Optimus' case was different. His injuries sat deep, were wounds that had scarred and hurt continuously. The Tji had destroyed a lot in those mere seconds it had been inside his mind and he couldn't heal it all alone. Diving into the mind she shielded herself as well, trying not to get lost in the insanity. Purple spikes of pain, yellow dots of confusion, bright white stars of utter terror were all around her. Somewhere buried beneath this pain and fear lay his logical mind and she had to find it. Optimus Prime was confronted with the horror of the Tji possession and it ate at him, leaving his mind frayed at the edges, blurry and diffuse.  
Mel reached out and gathered those fuzzy edges together, trying to stabilize him. The Autobot leader could no longer separate between reality and long-past memory and she had to guide him back to a place where he could find his own way, where he felt secure. She felt him fight her, struggle against what he believed was another invasion and she had a hard time to keep her hold. She continued to broadcast that she was no threat and finally she felt a question worming its way through the pain.  
Mel?  
Yes, it's me, Optimus. Relax. You are safe.  
What happened?  
Nothing. Calm down. Let me help you.  
He was thoroughly confused but he didn't fight her any longer. She gently pushed and guided him out of the insanity to a place where no madness threatened.

Soundwave watched Optimus Prime stumble again, his optics flashing wildly, his gaze still fixed on Mel. He reached out for the desk, nearly missing, then collapsed heavily against it. A soft moan escaped his lips, then his optics dimmed and he buried his head in his hands, tremors wracking his body. Soundwave looked at Mel who had never even twitched a muscle. She was still keeping a line-of-sight connection to her patient and he felt her empathic touch as acutely as if she was touching him. She wouldn't let go as long as he was in danger of snapping back. The Decepticon communications specialist was just about to call for help when someone else burst into the room.  
Silhouette stopped like she had hit a wall, her blue optics displaying shock. She looked at the badly beat-up form of Rodimus Prime who was holding himself upright by sheer willpower, then at the shaking Autobot leader and the small human who stood between his sanity and the edge of madness.

Insane pictures cleared, making way for reality. And reality was cruel and cold and hard.  
Optimus stumbled back from Rodimus, who was leaning against the wall, coughing, holding his torn mid-section. What had he done? Great Cybertron, what had he done?! He stretched out one hand, as if to reach for his younger second, then retreated even further.  
"Gods!" Silhouette exclaimed, looking at her severely beaten up partner and then at Prime. "What happened?!" Without waiting for an answer she darted over to Rodimus, helping him lean carefully against the desk.  
Optimus winced as he saw what he had done to his friend. Rodimus' skin was cracked in several places, torn deeply and he suspected those were level two or three breaches, and he was leaking a bit, though not heavily. Optimus met his second's optics and shivered at the undisguised emotional pain at what had happened here.  
What have I done?

* * *

Cathy was aware ...... of things. Strange things, wonderful things, sad things......  
She drifted and she learned, but her fear accompanied her, kept in check but not gone. Someone was with her, keeping her company but also far away, not daring to touch her. He was alien.....  
Fear of aliens!  
She faltered.  
She stumbled.  
Cathy Lee cried in panic and suddenly someone held her gently, told her she wasn't alone.  
She opened her eyes. No, she wasn't alone and she no longer was on the bed. She lay in a protective shell formed out of two hands.  
"Fox?"  
She bit her lip, shaking her head. Why did she react to him this way? And why did she call him Fox? His names was..... Cathy rubbed her temples. She felt tired but also much better than in years.  
"Yes?" he answered with this hated, soft voice. "How are you?"  
Yes, how was she? Except for feeling better, that was...... She tried to come up with an answer to put into words and failed. She felt a lot of things: better, confused, whole, exhausted, hurt and comfortable. It was a wild mix of emotions, not all fitting together.  
"Okay, I think," she then said slowly. "What happened?"  
"We phased."  
Russell tensed and closed her eyes. "No!" she breathed.  
Something withdrew out of her mind, the feeling of wholeness staying but the comfort and warmth slowly retreating. A wave of panic struck her as she felt the security go away.  
<No!> she protested without thinking how she did it, then stared at F/X in astonishment, fear and pain. She averted her eyes and rubbed her forehead. The presence returned and hugged her.  
"Cathy...."  
She shook her head. "We can't do this," she told him in a soft but firm voice that didn't seem to belong to her. "I know you say we can, but it's impossible."  
And cold realization washed away the comfort. She was really stuck here now, on an alien, metal planet, with giant robots and no chance to ever get back home. Interfacing had done this to her and though the Interfaced part cherished the new wholeness, the xenophobic part hated it fiercely. Those two sides were battling to win and her mind was caught in between. Hers and F/X's. She knew she was reflecting her hatred back at him and part of her was incredibly sorry because of it, the other gleefully cheered at another victory over an alien creature she despised.  
How could he still like her? How could he still want her as a partner even if this link had been no voluntary choice? He should hate and despise her.....  
<I don't, Cathy Lee>  
Wide, green eyes looked at him, unable to comprehend, only able to focus on hatred. "Don't do this," she begged.  
<Sleep> he said softly and she felt her body react to the voice.  
"Can't," she mumbled, but her body betrayed her.  
F/X took her gently, cradling her protectively. <Sleep well> he whispered into her relaxed mind.

* * *

Rodimus leaned heavily against the wall, bleeding, bruised, exhausted, hanging his head. He looked like he would faint any moment, but Silhouette knew this was not the case -- yet. He could endure a lot, though she doubted it would have a been a lot more. Around them robots and humans moved and she was only peripherally aware of Kup coming in, staring at the scene; of Mel explaining briefly that Prime had to be brought to med bay and that she would answer questions later; of Soundwave standing back, but keeping an eye on the severely confused and disturbed Autobot leader. She shook her head when Kup wanted to ask something and made clear she would take care of Rodimus.  
"Let's get you to your quarters," she told him. "You need a bit of treatment -- again. And med bay is overrun at the moment anyway." And Optimus is there as well, she added silently.  
Thankfully they didn't meet anyone on their way, mostly because everyone was either outside and helping with the clean-ups or in med bay, as a patient or volunteer. Rodimus' quarters were sparsely furnished and he rarely used them for anything but a quick recharge. Sil made him sit down and then got an emergency medical kit out. She removed the spoiler, which was battered as well, and checked the multiple bruises and open skin. Most of the cuts could be treated with a quickly drying substance Mel had once jokingly called 'Med Glue'. It sealed the skin and could later be easily removed when the repairs were made.  
"What the hell were you thinking?" she asked angrily as she treated him. "Not a lot, as it seems!"  
Rodimus winced and his hurt look, on top of his battered exterior, made her feel sorry for him. Still, she wouldn't let this pass without saying her mind out loud.  
"Sil....."  
"Shut up! Optimus nearly killed you and you don't even try to defend yourself! How stupid can you get?!"  
Rodimus stared at the floor. "Optimus was eating it all up inside and there had to be reaction," he muttered.  
"A rather violent one!"  
Sil knew exactly what Rodimus was driving at and he had succeeded in getting Optimus to confess his anger and fears, though it had cost too much, in her opinion. Still, she glared angrily at him.  
He hung his head again. "Well, it somehow worked....."  
Sil snarled, her Dinobot side showing. "It nearly got you killed! Did they forget to install your logic circuits the last time you were in med bay?!"  
"Sil! Please! He was destroying himself!" Rodimus protested.  
"And so you gave him another target! I was wrong! There is even more stupidity out there!"  
It hadn't been stupidity, she knew. It had been friendship and worry. Optimus would have turned away from everyone in time and Rodimus had brought him back.  
"Yes," he confessed softly.  
Silhouette shook her head with a deep sigh. "Rodimus Prime, you can't go around playing punching ball!" She stared into his troubled optics.  
"I didn't....."  
"You did!"  
"All right," he sighed. "It was a stupid move and I'll never do it again!"  
Sil cocked her head. "Yeah, right! Don't make promises you can't keep." It hurt her to see him like this. She had been in med bay not so long ago to see him badly injured and now he had risked his health again -- for others!  
Rodimus sat on the table, staring at the floor, as she started on his back, which had apparently collided with not only the wall, but also Optimus' fist and feet, mostly around the hip/lower back region. She worked methodically and tried to ignore her morose patient. Sil had had to learn all about medical first aid and more when she had trained for Counterstrike and she could even perform emergency surgery if needed. Right now she was glad she didn't have to.  
"Roddy?" she asked softly as she rubbed some Med Glue on a particular ugly bruise.  
Deep blue optics met hers and she saw his pain, his emotional pain, in there, as well as deep exhaustion. It made her shiver. Sil simply dropped the kit and hugged him gently. His arms came around her and he held on tightly, burying his face in her neck. She felt tremors run through his body as he finally reacted to what had happened to him lately. From Shanygn she knew he had suppressed everything concerning his near-death and the pressures of leading he had been put under. Rodimus was the only of the Council who had been in any shape to lead for some time. Optimus was emotionally unstable, Midnight and Megatron had been in med bay, and Tornado was needed in the field. The seconds had taken over as best as they could, but somehow Rodimus always ended up in the middle. And then there had been the burden of responsibility he had felt toward Optimus. Megatron was back and handling his part again, Midnight was hopping back and forth between Alean and Cybertron and the lieutenants and seconds tried to reroute work loads, though it was barely a relief. She knew what was coming Rodimus' way and there was no help in the world that could ease the burden. On top of his own people's problems, the Venerakkin, missing not only their leader but also the next in the line of command to turn to, had chosen Rodimus as their new commander. They had asked him for guidance, unable to come out of their trained behavior to follow one leader and decide for themselves. Though Rodimus was angry at them for not helping the Cybertronians in their battle, he had decided not to act out his own anger on those who only followed orders. He had sent the 'kkin out into the field to help where they could, hoping this was the correct decision.  
Silhouette simply held him, rubbing his back, trying not to touch the bruises. He clung to her as if she was his life-line and she muttered soft words to him. Finally he calmed down.  
"Okay?" she asked.  
He nodded.  
"Then get some recharge. You need it."  
"But Optimus...."  
"Is in good hands. Do yourself a favor for once and stay here. Get some rest." Her voice was stern and dared him to contradict.  
Rodimus sighed and nodded, not even trying to resist as she got him settled in the recharge unit. He was off-line a minute later.  
Silhouette watched him recharge for a while, then gathered her stuff and left. She nearly ran into a towering gray bulk as she closed the door.  
"Grimlock!" she exclaimed. "I didn't see you!"  
"Me Grimlock not puny small Autobot to miss," the Dinobot leader told her with an amused tone.  
"No, you're not." She smiled. "What brings you here?"  
There was a strange light in the blue visor. "How is Rodimus?" he asked.  
"Okay, as far as I can tell. Could be better." They walked down the corridor. "You heard it already?"  
Grimlock shook his head. "No one hear about it. Me Grimlock was in med bay when Optimus came in. He very sick."  
"Yes." Silhouette looked down the corridor, her optics as troubled. "Very."  
"You can help?"  
"Me? No, this is beyond what I can do for him. I can only talk, but he needs more than talking. He needs a healing of the mind."  
"That reason why Melissa and Soundwave guard him?"  
Sil smiled. Though people tended to see the Dinobots as stupid mechanisms, she had been treated to rare occasions when Grimlock seemed to drop the pretense. He was as fast on the pick-up as anyone and her years among her five 'brothers' had shown her that some were indeed hiding a deeper understanding of things behind their brute force and limited speech capabilities.  
"That's right."  
"You can still help," Grimlock said and dropped his usual speech pattern completely. "He trusts you." With that he nodded at her and walked off down another corridor.  
Sil watched him disappear. Yes, Optimus trusted him, but just how far?

* * *

Midnight didn't know what to think of the pale, slender, almost haggard looking human standing in front of him. Catherine Lee Russell met his gaze unflinchingly, her green eyes cold and calculating as always, her suit fitting perfectly, though maybe a bit more loosely than before, and her face was tight and emotionless. Skywolf had told him what had happened in med bay and he was kind of glad about it. But Skywolf had also told him about other events and it had made him think. Every Sentinel had Interface abilities, but somehow F/X had them even more so. He was a special person, very sensitive to linking, but he had never accomplished a complete link. Shanygn had been the only person ever to come close to achieving an Interface with him, but in the end it had not happened. Midnight had always felt that this would one day get to his older friend, but F/X had taken it calmly, almost stoically. He was a big help when it came to Interfaces, but he didn't have one of his own.  
And now he did.  
Midnight shook his head. Why Russell? Of all the people it had to be an emotionally cold and clinically business-like person who was also extremely xenophobic. It was a miracle she had not yet gone totally insane on this alien world. F/X was the total opposite to his new partner and though many partners started out as opposites, there were always common factors, a basis to work from. He and Steve hadn't been on the same wavelength either but they had worked it out soon enough because both were willing to trust the other. Russell was willing to hate everything alien.  
<I'm sure there is more to her> Steve sent through the link, smiling.  
<Of course, but in what direction? For better or worse?>  
Steve shrugged. <Trust F/X>  
Midnight sighed.  
"Don't be misguided," Russell said, interrupting their silent conversation. Her icy eyes kept on looking at the taller, black robot. "I have a job here and I will do it. This changes nothing."  
"Of course," the Sentinel leader answered, fighting down the urge to throttle her just a bit. Every time she was so clinical, so emotionless, he wanted to slap some sense into her. This would hurt F/X, he knew, because they were linked. She wasn't just projecting this coldness; she was cold. She had to be to project this wall of ice so perfectly.  
"And I need a few more files," she added now.  
"You know my number," he answered, appearing calm and controlled to the outside world. Inside he was angry at the newly Interfaced human. He nodded at F/X, then turned and walked out of the room.

Cathy Lee closed her eyes when Midnight had left, inhaling deeply, wondering why she had reacted like this. Midnight was trying to help and she was pushing him away.  
"Because you are defending yourself," F/X said softly.  
She looked up and into his slightly smiling face. She felt his presence in her mind, his soothing embrace, his gentle hold. It was comforting and it was frightening. She just didn't know which emotion was dominant.  
"I'm pushing people away, annoying them," she muttered. "It's what I am...."  
"No. You have lived like this for a long time and you can't change yourself in a few days."  
Cathy sighed. Why did he have to be so understanding?

* * *

Rodimus woke reluctantly, his head aching abominably though this was close to impossible for a robot to feel. Since he had been in such close contact with humans, even linked to a humanoid on the mind level, he had acquired a few new perceptions and views in his life, not all of them positive. He sat up slowly, his diagnostics telling him he was better than yesterday, that his circuits were a bit strained but that his energon level was back to normal.  
"Good morning," a voice said and he identified it as Silhouette's. He wondered briefly what she was doing in his quarters, but the staccato in his head left him hanging. He just wasn't in any shape to do much.  
And he still had to pay med bay a visit.  
Blinking, he focused on the figure in the doorframe. It was Sil, no doubt about it, and she looked a bit tired but not exhausted. He valiantly tried to conjure up a memory as to why she was here and his mind gave him a few snippets of information, mainly about her treating a few cuts and then gently but firmly pushing him off to recharge. Then there was only oblivion.  
"Hi, Sil," he greeted her and smiled at her.  
The smile, which had been aimed to cheer her up, to show her he was doing okay, faltered. She knew him too well to fall into this trap. And she had seen his condition, mentally as well as physically, which meant he couldn't fool her at all. And there was also the fact that he had never been able to anyway.  
"How are you?" she now wanted to know and approached him.  
"Feeling lousy," he answered truthfully.  
"You look terrible."  
Rodimus grimaced. "Thanks. You're a great boost for my ego, Sil. How bad does it look?"  
Sil eyed him closely. "Bad," she then said. "You need a completely new skin job."  
Rodimus sighed at the thought of a prolonged stay in med bay again. He seemed to be visiting there on a regular basis lately, always as a patient. "I think I need a mirror," he muttered.  
"Believe me, you don't want one."  
That brought a smile on Rodimus' face. Then he remembered what had happened and sobered immediately, fixing his gaze on Silhouette again.  
"Where's Optimus?"  
Sil understood the sense of that question and sighed. "He's in med bay ever since this happened. Mel is with him and First Aid shut down his weapons controls and suchlike."  
Rodimus winced.  
"He's been very quiet," Silhouette added softly.  
Rodimus stared at the floor. He remembered parts of what had happened. He also remembered that Sil had patched up his worst cuts and bruises and then gotten him here. He had mumbled something half-heartedly about needing to be in med bay with Optimus, then there had been the feeling of the whole world tilting sideways and him going into recharge. That was about all.  
Rodimus pushed himself away from the recharge bed and encountered a blue and grey arm, as well as a pair of stern blue optics.  
"Where do you think you're going, Rodimus?" Sil asked.  
"Med bay." He pushed the arm aside -- or at least he tried. Sil didn't budge.  
"You will stay here and out of trouble," the female Dinobot told him. "You've been through a lot."  
"And that from someone who always insists I check into med bay at the slightest bruise," he said playfully.  
Sil's frown didn't lighten up. "You never have slight bruises, Rodimus Prime. You always end up with either half a building on your head or a full ion cannon blast in your chest."  
Roddy's optics fixed on her blue one's and he stood his ground, swaying a bit. His head pounded viciously and the headache was off scale, but he was intent on going to med bay, obstacle or not Sil would be able to take him down without a problem the state he was in, but he intended to pull rank on her if she didn't move out of his way.  
Silhouette suppressed a sigh and finally stepped away.  
Rodimus managed to leave his quarters without falling over his own two feet and walked down the corridor to the large medical facility of West Central. He entered the waiting area and was met by Chaos.  
"Rodimus!" She looked at him, a disapproving and slightly worried frown crossing her features. "What are you doing here?"  
"Coming in for a repair?" he said innocently.  
The frown deepened. A 'yeah, right' expression fleetingly appeared and was then banished.  
"You look dreadful, partner," a new voice said and he groaned silently. Rodimus had tried to at least keep this link closed and not broadcast what he was up to, but she had still picked it up.  
"Terrible, dreadful -- what's next?" Rodimus looked down at the scowling face of his Interface partner. "You two don't know any compliments for the wounded?"  
"Awful?" Chaos suggested neutraly.  
"Thank you," the young commander muttered. "Where's Optimus?" he then suddenly asked.  
"I don't think you should talk to him right now," Chaos told him.  
"And I think I should," he said calmly.  
[Roddy....]  
[Shut up, Shan!]  
Her blue eyes gave him an icy look. He knew she didn't approve of this at all and he also knew she was more than pissed at what he had done. She let him feel it and he couldn't even fault her for it. She was right, in a way at least, but he had had to do it. There had been no other way in his opinion.  
[Listen, Mr. Rodimus Prime] she now told him sternly [You nearly died at his hands and he is currently in no condition to catch a thought further away than his nose! Mel needed all her powers to get him to interact with First Aid and First Aid is worried he might snap back]  
[All the more reason I talk to him!]  
[All the more reason you stay out of this!] she snapped back.  
Their eyes met and a silent battle of wills began. Shanygn was not inclined to give up and she had experience with this, but so had he. He and Shanygn had battled it out numerous times before and each had won or lost at occasions. Finally Rodimus slumped back, rubbing his optics.  
"He needs to see I'm okay," he said softly, almost pleading, looking at Chaos, then at Shanygn, willing her to understand.  
"Not right now," a new voice said and First Aid joined them.  
Rodimus groaned inwardly. "First Aid, you don't understand!"  
"Oh, but I do. Optimus needs rest now and you need repairs. Room 45 is free right now."  
"First Aid!"  
The medic gave him a calm look. "Don't make me pull rank on you, Rodimus Prime. I am the senior medic here and I can put you off duty long enough to cool off your circuits."  
Rodimus knew when he was outnumbered. Shanygn was not inclined to help him and Sil would tie him up and bodily carry him to the treatment room if necessary. And yes, First Aid could pull him off the active duty list and confine him here as long as he could give a medical reason why. Knowing First Aid he could come up with an almost endless list.  
"All right, you lot win!" he growled and stomped off to the treatment room.  
Shanygn smiled at First Aid. "Keep him there for a while till he calms down."  
First Aid smiled back. "I'm not renting rooms, you know. Med bay is for short term patients."  
She laughed. "Just try."  
First Aid followed his latest patient. There was still one very important piece of news he had to tell him.

* * *

Jeff Winters regarded the woman sitting opposite him at the table. She had changed from the woman he had met over two months ago. She had grown more skinny and was even paler than before. Her eyes held the same cold look as always, but now it was no longer so frighteningly emotionless. She had started to crack, though never in public, and the link would keep eating away at her shields until her real self was exposed. Jeff knew this was the best, but the way it was going was painful to witness.  
Both of them had met irregularly throughout her stay on Cybertron and he had seen her change -- from the day of the Interface on. She had been a smoker, but had suddenly quit. Her caloric intake had dwindled to almost nothing, her lunch and dinner consisting of crackers or some other, less-than-nourishing food. She still wore her clothes like a personal armor, but they were no longer keeping everything away.  
Catherine Lee Russell was learning to become human the hard way.  
"You know, if you don't eat more, you're going to blow away. I half feel like stuffing rocks in your pockets as it is now," Jeff said, smiling around some Chinese food.  
She picked at her plate as he continued to devour his. Still dressed in her work clothes she looked exhausted, like a flower collapsed in the wind.  
"I'm not hungry," she muttered. "And I still need to work."  
"Catherine, you can't hide like this forever. You and F/X phased and you should not fight what it gave you!"  
"What it gave me?!" Her voice snapped like a whip. "It gave me the hell on Earth!" She laughed humorlessly. "And I'm not even on Earth anymore! I'm on this world and I'm stuck!" She exploded from the table with more energy than he would have given her credit in her condition. "I never wanted this and I still don't want it! And stop getting involved in other people's lives! I can live my life and so can Fox!"  
Jeff looked after her as she stormed out and a small smile stole over his lips.  
<She calls him Fox> Wild Card said.  
<I heard it, partner. She did more than just phase. They have a very stable link which she tries to cut off or shield and can't manage>  
<A strong one>  
Jeff nodded, though he was alone. A very strong one indeed. Maybe even stronger than everyone thought. He and Wild Card were close to one hundred percent and they would never hit the top because links stayed the same throughout the entire life. And Jeff suspected that Cathy Lee Russell and F/X had missed the jackpot by only a few percent.

* * *

Melissa looked at the tall robot and wondered whether or not he had really heard what she had said. Rodimus was looking at a point behind her head, a neutral expression on his face. She waited.  
Rodimus was deeply in thought. He had managed to leave med bay after the sixth attempt and was back at work, much to Shanygn's dismay.  
The young commander knew it had had to come down to this one day, but he had always thought he could avoid this decision somehow. Now it was upon him and he had to make a decision. Mel had talked to him about what had happened to Optimus before and she had put it into very clear words as to how they might be able to help him. At the time Rodimus had still hoped that the older Autobot would be able to help himself, but now he knew that this was not the case.  
He had experienced it for himself.  
Optimus was a single step away from losing it completely. He had attacked his second-in-command and would have killed him if Melissa and Soundwave hadn't interfered. Something had to happen. He had to draw the consequences.  
"It's dangerous," he said, almost to himself.  
"Only for me and Soundwave," Mel answered levely. "Optimus won't feel a thing. He will know that I'm there, but he has accepted my presence already and he won't fight me."  
Rodimus looked into her serious face, the empty brown eyes staring right into his soul. He knew Mel could most likely read his feelings concerning this and she would know that this troubled him. He hated to give the order but he was the only one who could. He knew all the details and there was no more evading it. It was either yes or no.  
And Optimus would never know it.  
More secrets, more deception.  
Rodimus painfully remembered the accusations, that he was keeping Prime in the dark, that he didn't tell him everything that was going on, and he had been right. But he had done it all to help, hadn't he?  
Hadn't he.....?  
He didn't know any more.  
"Does First Aid know about it?" he asked.  
She nodded. "We gave it a good and long hard look from all angles and this is what we can do. Rodimus, we have to face it. Either we try this or Optimus loses it!"  
He winced. He knew this only too well. And now that Alpha Trion had died as well, Optimus' creator, there was only more grief coming his friend's way.  
"Okay," he finally said. "Do it."  
Melissa gave him a soft smile. "You know you might feel echoes, but Shanygn agreed to watch the link and shield you. I don't want you to have flashes while we heal."  
He nodded and watched the slender human leave.  
[It's going to be okay] Shanygn said through the link, drowning the troubled little voice inside his mind.  
[I really hope so, Shan. I really hope so]

* * *

Soundwave had rarely touched a mind as deeply in the past as it was expected of him now. Though he was a telepath, a rare occasion among machine life, he never tried to delve too deeply into another mind. It was so easy to get lost in there, to get entangled in the otherworldliness of a living mind. Thoughts of highly evolved, intelligent beings were never straight forward and clear; they were a mess of thought processes all happening simultaneously. Thoughts came to life, existed, continued, were cast away, were formed anew, connected to memories or other thoughts.... It was dizzying to even touch the very surface of the thought process, let alone go past it and much deeper. He had frequently used his powers to read surface thoughts, something he was accomplished in and which was like a second nature. Now he would have to go past the surface and into the depths. He would have to confront the memories which were closely guarded by the consciousness and the sub-consciousness, and he would have to be careful not to hurt what he encountered.  
Tricky. Difficult. Minuscule surgery.  
Memories were nothing but stored data, though not exactly stored in a pattern but also not at random. There was a system behind memory, but since it was flexible and ever-changing, a telepath could get a headache searching for a simple piece of information -- especially if the one whose thoughts he was reading was resisting. And he wasn't even looking for open memories but for those hidden and shoved away, the dark memories. They would be hard to find and he knew it would be straining and painful.  
And it would be dangerous.  
Soundwave was quite aware that there was a thirty percent chance that he would come out of this as injured as Optimus Prime was right now. If their plan didn't work and he was detected by the mind he was invading, he would be attacked, and attacks in the mind world were lightning fast and bloody. His only chance of surviving this was a small, female human called Melissa Witwicky, someone with extraordinary empathic powers. She would have to guide him in and then shield his presence, calming Optimus Prime and pretending she was alone. He had no idea how strong she was. Empathy concerning only robotic life forms was an unknown ability and she was an unknown factor. There was no way to test her powers. He only knew what he had witnessed and what he had been told. She was strong and she was skilled, but how long could she last?  
"Ready?" the human now asked.  
Soundwave looked at her slender frame, meeting the empty brown eyes. He knew she could see him perfectly. despite the fact that she was blind. The Net implant made it possible and she saw more than the average human could. He briefly wondered if she had ever read him, then discarded that thought. He had no time to brood over it.  
"Yes," he said and then transformed.  
Melissa picked up his alternate mode and clipped him on her belt. "Then let's go."  
She entered med bay and nodded at First Aid. She wouldn't need line of sight for this task, but she wanted to be present and close to Optimus. The door closed after them as she walked into the treatment room, her eyes fixed on the immobile red and blue Cybertronian on the examination table.  
Well, girl, you asked for it, she thought grimly as she settled down on a much smaller bed and lay back.

* * *

Cathy Lee Russell sat behind her desk, rubbing her tired eyes. She had sent all her reports off to Earth and somehow she felt like she could sleep for a week. Her stomach had quieted down a bit and she was almost used to the calm presence in the back of her mind. She had come to rely on this quiet support and gentle strength. She couldn't get used to the thought of an alien linked to her, but when she ignored this alarming bell in her mind she could almost accept it. Almost.  
F/X refrained from mind-talking to her and he also tried to make himself as inconspicuous as possible. They had phased, they were Interfaced, but he wasn't pressuring her into more. She couldn't give him more. No closeness; no real friendship; only acceptance. Tolerance was the only word she could think of. She was an Earth official and her job was to evaluate these beings. F/X had explained to her that he wasn't Cybertronian, though he had been born here, and when she thought about it, little memory flashes wormed themselves into her mind. Like a movie....  
Leaning back into her chair Cathy Lee closed her eyes and was suddenly right back in the movie she was always watching. It was about the past, a mind-boggling, unbelievable past that told her so much and kept her confused about even more.  
F/X was old.  
Ancient even.  
He was one of the oldest Sentinels alive, nearly as old as Skywolf, and one of the few to survive the slave upraise. She shivered at what he had been and she shuddered at what he had done. It was horrifying and too real in her mind. Cathy Lee touched her temples, massaging them. It hurt to see it through the robot's eyes and it wouldn't stop. She fought it, feeding her natural shields with every bit of strength she had, but sometimes it was overwhelming. She was pissing off people more than ever lately and her coldness to the outside world had taken on a new form. Everybody tried to get out of her way, even the other Interfaces, and she knew she was making F/X's life hard.  
I'm so sorry, she thought.  
She knew he heard her and she felt a lurch of emotions that weren't hers. She felt her shields rise involuntarily and weakly tried to fight it. No chance. It was instinct and she couldn't fight it at all. F/X wasn't even talking to her, simply slipping in his own control, and this was the result. Cathy Lee felt ashamed. Looking at her still cluttered desk she inhaled deeply, doing the only thing she could think of: work. She had another appointment with Daniel Witwicky this evening and she knew it would be another disaster in the relationship department. She couldn't get herself to change. She was an Ice Queen and very much aware of it. And she accepted it.

F/X smiled sadly and closed the link gently, sighing. It would take time, he knew, a lot of time, as well as patience. He had both and he knew that one day Cathy Lee Russell would get past her Xenophobia.  
One day.

* * *

Mel knew a difficult task when she saw one and this was clearly a very difficult one. She was only an empath, not a telepath. She couldn't read minds, only receive emotions and even thought this was a limited ability it was sometimes overpowering. Sorting through them to find out just what the person she was facing was exactly feeling was sometimes giving her a migraine of galactic proportions. Since discovering those powers she had learned to handle most of what was coming her way and she was quite good with her shields. But now she was asked to do something she had never tried before: going into another's mind, masking another presence, shielding the other one and still calming the mind she invaded. Well, there was a first time for everything.  
Melissa relaxed and let herself reach out for Optimus' troubled mind, first tendrils touching it. He reacted quite well to her touch and she breathed a sigh of relief. It had taken her weeks to get this far and he was still sometimes pushing her away, too much reminded of the telepathic invasion of the Tji. Mel had no idea what the Tji had done besides entering the mind, but even those who appeared to be strong and unbreakable from the outside could topple when their shields were broken. Emotional wounds were always worse than a mere physical injury.  
Now she reached back and came in contact with Soundwave's sharp and clear presence, an orange steel ball of power. Mel brushed over his exterior and shivered at the power hidden under there. He was a strong telepath and his logical and tightly controlled mind was like ice, spreading coldness. She enveloped the orange glow and hid it within herself, then approached Optimus' mind. She stepped into the dangerous and confusing realm of conscious thought.  
The noise that greeted her was almost deafening, like a million chitters collapsing upon her, crushing her down. Mel strengthened her shields and forced back the noise. She plunged deeper, feeling the world outside disappear behind a curtain of thought. Waves of uncontrolled thoughts crashed down over her and she rode with them, wishing an intelligent mind would be as clear and sharp as a simple computer program. A computer program followed only its programmed paths, never slipping, never acting by random. Of course, robots were programmed machines, but they had developed intelligence and their thought processes had changed. Nothing was linear anymore. They were a far cry from a simple automaton. The older a Cybertronian mind was, the more randomness she encountered and the more confusing everything was.  
A sudden flash greeted her on her journey and she reached out to calm the mind, telling Optimus everything was okay.  
And then she seemed to break through a cover of clouds, hovering in a complex, three-dimensional air space over what looked like a weird island. It was as complex as the air she floated in, but also very simple. It was hard to describe and she tried not to think about it. Mel surveyed the landscape below her. Somewhere there was what they were looking for. She descended carefully and could suddenly distinguish interlocked patterns of spirals and curves that stretched away into the distance. The island had grown into infinity, no longer confined and small, but endless and vast.  
Memories.  
All of them.  
Melissa reached out and secured herself over this realm, stretching as infinitely as the mindscape, freeing Soundwave from her protection.  
Your turn, she whispered.  
The orange ball slipped away and unfolded into a beautiful yet undefined shape of light. There was a moment of absolute radiance, then Soundwave was gone, absorbed into the memories.  
Good luck.

*

Soundwave hovered in a world he knew and was a total stranger in as well. Mind flashes were all around him, beautiful displays of fire and light, casting shadows, spiraling upwards, flaring, exploding, simmering, glowing. It was maddening and enchanting. He ignored it all, looking for something out of the ordinary, something that was not meant to be this way.  
And he found it.  
It was like a pool of darkness inside a lively sea of blues and yellows. The blackness exploded sporadically, sending forth memories to the waking mind, torturing it with the single-mindedness of the pictures it contained. These were the wounds inflicted by the Tji and maybe even more. Soundwave looked up and discovered his shield, Mel's mind, hovering above him. He knew she couldn't see him and though she might sense him, she wouldn't be able to assist in any other way than she already did. He was on his own.  
Soundwave reached out for the blackness.  
The raw fear and agony hit him like an asteroid right between the optics. He could feel it take him, lift him up, trying to pull him inside, swallow him. He steadied himself, shielding his mind like Mel shielded his presence. A cyclone of fear and pain swirled around him in a mad little dance and Soundwave knew he had to act. He struck out and lodged part of himself in the mindscape, then went in.  
He was greeted by memories.  
A lot of them.  
But all of the same origin.

Braintrust lifted his head from his examination of the human and looked at Prime, who couldn't move an inch. An evil smile split his lips. Then he lifted his right claws, sharp talons glistening in the artificial light. Before Prime could even twitch a muscle cable the talons dug into his chest, tearing apart his metal chest plate. He screamed in pain as the thousands of circuits protested wildly, overloading. The Matrix was ripped violently out of his body, trailing a faint, blue light, which disappeared after a split second.

Soundwave was confused for a moment, then shook himself. This was not a Tji memory. It was older but still as painful for Optimus Prime.

Optimus Prime screamed, a scream relaying a pain and a desperation that wasn't only his, but was shared with a woman strapped to a strange device opposite him. Emotions washed through him, closely followed by an intense sensation he had never felt before.

He stopped dead. An Interface..... Optimus Prime had Interfaced, though it had been a long time ago and though it also hadn't worked, it had left its marks.  
It had been the first intrusion into his core unit, something violating a personal link. That had most likely been the time he had begun to react extremely touchy to anything coming close to even touching his mind.  
Soundwave spread out a bit further and examined the tangled mess of strands he saw waving in the dark, like sea weed in the surf. Memories torn out of context and collected here, he realized, all of them together overpowering the rational mind, leaking constantly, looking for an opening to the reality of conscious thought. Pictures, sounds and emotions, all packed tightly together, strung on an endless line of recurring events, waiting for their chance to break free. And it was his job to stop this process, to get the memory pieces back where they belonged.  
To heal.  
Soundwave set to work and began to slowly untangle what had been fused together. The moment he freed a particular piece it whisked back to its place of origin, melting back into the cluster of memories it belonged to.  
Time passed.  
Soundwave lost track of time as he worked. There was no time here, only memories. He was treated to many of them. He ignored them all, but some were insistent and very intense. Even with the protection he worked under his work had turned into something painful and heavy to handle.  
And then he was done.  
He felt a tug and looked up. Mel hovered closer to him and he recognized the strain she was under. Slowly, almost sluggishly he drew away from what had once been the blackness of pain and was now nothing but a slowly disappearing grey spot. He became aware of a chittering noise at the edge of the memories he was still in and knew that Optimus' consciousness was slowly digging deeper, probably suspicious of Mel's continued presence. There was a whirlpool of colors and light, then it vanished and with it all his senses went blank.  
Mel enveloped him.  
He was gone.

*

Soundwave became aware from one moment to the next without the intermediate stage of confusion and trying to figure out where he was. He knew exactly where he was and what had happened. He knew where he had been. His optics went on-line and he looked around. With a bit of surprise he became aware that he had somehow transformed and was currently on a Cybertronian-sized examination table.  
"You're on-line. Good."  
First Aid stepped into his field of vision and ran a quick check on him. Soundwave knew he was okay, though he felt a bit exhausted, but this concerned only his mind. He sat up and ran another self-check, which came out okay as well. Everything was normal and within tolerance levels. His core circuits were slightly strained but that had to be expected after this. He scanned the room again, wondering where they had brought him to. This was clearly not the treatment room he and Mel had been in before going into the mindspace. Melissa Witwicky sat on another examination table, he saw, clutching a cup of coffee in shaky hands, eyes closed. Her face was pale and drawn. Suddenly she opened her eyes and turned her head to look at him as if she had felt his gaze upon her, smiling faintly. She appeared to be close to falling asleep and Soundwave risked a guarded surface scan of her mind. She was totally exhausted but okay.  
"Optimus is stable," First Aid now said. "I'm not yet sure what your actions did for him and most likely it will show only in time, but I suspect he won't be in any danger of flashing back now."  
"He is off-line?" Soundwave inquired.  
The Autobot medic nodded. "I ordered him to recharge." A smile seemed to pass over his optics.  
"I understand."  
First Aid left him and went to work on something. Melissa still looked at him.  
"Looks like you made it," the human then said.  
"We made it," he corrected her.  
Mel shrugged, smiling. "You did the hard part. I only kept him oblivious to your presence. Let's just hope it's really okay."  
"It is," Soundwave told her. "I made sure of that."  
She raised an eyebrow as she heard the conviction in his normally emotionless voice.  
"He won't have any more access to only his bad memories. They are back among his general memories, safely lodged where they have always been. The wounds are closed. He won't hurt any more."  
"No more flashbacks," she muttered almost to herself, putting down the coffee. "And he won't even know."  
"No." The Decepticon communications expert slipped off the table. "I will return to my duties now."  
"Uhm, before you go .... Do you mind getting me off this table? I have a bed with my name on it somewhere and I'm planning to pay it a visit."  
Soundwave tilted his head a fraction, then picked her up and set her carefully down. Without waiting for a reply he left.

* * *

The shuttle touched down in the middle of the destruction that had once been South continent. It had passed through the weakened security of Cybertron unnoticed and it was lucky for the Cybertronians that its passenger was not an enemy. Kup would have thrown a fit if he had known. The shuttle was immediately camouflaged and was now indistinguishable from the rest of the area. The passenger disembarked, looked around and shook her head.  
"Gods," she muttered.  
Then she strode through the ruins, aiming for the West continent.

* * *

Optimus Prime sat on the examination table, letting First Aid run his test, watching the medic as he keyed in data and nodded to himself. Optimus had woken a few hours ago, slightly confused as to how he had gotten into med bay, then remembering something disturbing, though he wasn't sure if his memories were all that clear about it. He knew he had had problems lately and maybe he had had a shut down, which was embarrassing enough. First Aid seemed to find nothing wrong with him and he soon got a clearance, though he thought that something was amiss. Somehow, everyone behaved differently. No, not everyone. First Aid and some of the medical staff. Mel as well. And Silhouette had been in med bay, asking him how he felt, her tone of voice light, but he had seen something was not right.  
As he entered his office, knowing that First Aid would not approve since he had asked Optimus to take it easy the next two days, he furiously tried to get his memories straightened out. It was like someone had put a block on things ..... a block that was dissolving only slowly. He sat down, chin on his hands, staring out of the window. Recent events passed in front of his optics, but none triggered any violent reaction. Somehow he had started to cope with what had happened to him. His mind had finally come to terms.

A fist tearing into Rodimus' stomach and belting him.  
Rodimus taking the beating, blue optics searching his face for a sign of .... of what?

Optimus sat up straight like hit by lightning. "Great Cybertron!" he breathed. "No!"  
Now he remembered. All of it! Yes, he had had a breakdown ... and Rodimus had taken the fall with him.  
"Oh, Primus!" he moaned. What had he done? How could he have done that?!  
A tremor passed through him. He had nearly killed his second-in-command. His most trusted friend. A partner. Optimus stared at his hands which were curled into fists. He felt okay now. Everything was just a bad dream, a memory among memories -- nothing special, nothing painful. Well, it hurt, but not to a point where it was a deafening noise in his mind, killing logic and reason. He felt .... healed ... whole again.... but what had he done before he had finally found the way to get passed it all?  
Prime rose slowly from the chair. He had to talk to Rodimus. He had to clear things between them. He had done something nothing could excuse ..... He hesitantly left his office and walked down the corridor to Rodimus' office. He passed some Cybertronians who greeted him as usual. Not so someone coming out of the room he was aiming for.  
"Silhouette," he greeted the female Dinobot.  
Her blue optics gave him a close look, as if looking for something out of the ordinary, then she smiled. "Hello, Optimus."  
"Is Rodimus in?" he asked, rather superfluously, he thought.  
She nodded, appearing almost hesitant, even protective.  
"I need to talk to him, Sil," Optimus added softly.  
"I know." She seemed to scrutinize him again. "You both need to talk." As she passed him she put a hand on his arm. "And you both need to go past what happened."  
Optimus Prime stared after her as she walked on, mystified.

Rodimus was sitting at his desk, having a half-glaring, half-begging look on his face as he studied the computer screen. When the door opened he looked up and his optics changed from surprise to something Optimus couldn't identify to worry.  
"Op.....?" he started.  
"I asked First Aid not to inform you," Prime said immediately, answering the question Rodimus would have posed.  
"You what?"  
Optimus smiled a bit. "I'm back and since I need a briefing anyway, I thought we might handle two things in one." Weak, he thought to himself. Very weak.  
The truth was, he hadn't wanted Rodimus to suddenly find somewhere else he needed to be, though he doubted his young friend would have evaded the confrontation. But Optimus wasn't so sure about himself.  
"How are you?" he then asked the all-important question.  
"Fine." Rodimus smiled and Optimus identified it as the pasted-on smile his second-in-command wore when he was trying to tell you everything was okay while the world was about to end. He had known him long enough now, even as Hot Rod, and he knew his act. Rodimus dropped the act when the two of them were having one of their private discussions and Optimus felt slightly shocked that his partner was now trying this on him.  
"That's not what I heard," he then said calmly, his mind giving him a clear impression of just how bad it had been. Rodimus had been severely beaten up.  
"Just got a few bumps. Nothing more. First Aid took care of that. I'm fine." Another smile, just a bit more desperate.  
Yes, First Aid had taken care of the injuries after Sil had given her partner an emergency treatment and prescribed rest.  
"You nearly died," he said quietly.  
Rodimus stared at him for a moment, fighting a battle. Optimus appreciated that he wanted to keep this from him, but he remembered. All of it. He couldn't' go on and ignore his actions.  
"I'm really okay, Optimus," he insisted.  
Prime sighed softly to himself. "Rodimus Prime," he then said. "We need to talk about what happened."  
"Optimus, what happened was an accident. We don't need ....."  
"I beat you up!" Optimus blurted.  
"You didn't beat me up," Rodimus immediately protested, rising from his chair.  
Optimus blue optics stared angrily at him. "So? What did I do then? I raised my hands against you and beat you unconscious! I could have killed you!"  
"But you didn't," the younger robot told him forcefully. "It was an accident. It wasn't you. You .... you were influenced by recent events..... It made you see things that weren't there."  
"That's no excuse!" Optimus shook his head. "Nothing can excuse this! I raised my hands against you! The most trusted friend I have! Maybe I stopped, but why?! Because someone intervened! I would have killed you!"  
His mind wasn't very clear on how he had been apprehended from striking Rodimus down, but he knew someone had.  
Rodimus met his agonized optics. "I'm not trying to excuse your actions, simply tell you that it wasn't your fault what happened. It was taken out of your hands. Optimus, please. It wasn't you."  
"It was me. The violence was there in me and it got triggered by ....." He hesitated, waiting for the emotional pain coursing through him every time he thought about it, but nothing happened, " ..... by the Tji attack!" he then whispered. "That's what happened! I, the Autobot leader, broke under the strain! It cannot be excused!"  
"Oh, please!" Rodimus nearly yelled, startling his older partner, throwing his hands in the air. "Not that again! You are not above things, Optimus! You are not a god! You are not without faults and weaknesses! I know you! A leader is entitled to weaknesses!"  
"Not those...."  
"Even those!" Rodimus shot back angrily. "You told me that when we formed this partnership! You lectured me about leadership! You opened my eyes that leaders are as prone to making mistakes as everyone else!"  
"Not like this..."  
"Even like this! It happened and it is the past. What happened to you because of this Tji is something lesser 'bots would have long gone insane over! You didn't! You went on and the pain went on as well. Optimus, it had to happen and it happened. Accept it." His voice grew softer. "I do. Better me than anyone else." He smiled a bit.  
Prime shook his head. "I wish it hadn't been you, Rodimus. I didn't want to hurt you...."  
"You didn't. Nothing a brief visit to med bay couldn't have repaired. Op, please ..... it had to get out and it helped you get over the Tji attack. I'm happy."  
The Autobot leader sighed deeply.  
"And since you are back I got some things for you...." Rodimus suddenly sang happily, giving the taller Autobot a gentle push toward the desk.  
Optimus had to chuckle softly as he sat down, watching his second-in-command sort through a stack of reports, finally piling about a third of them in front of his friend. Work was the best for him right now and he knew he had a lot to catch up to.  
And for the next hours he was brought up to date, feeling his head starting to swim and his respect for the younger leader grow. Rodimus had handled more than usual, a lot more, and he had managed it all.  
"Seeing how you handled this," he told him with amusement in his optics, "I think I can take a few more days off....."  
Rodimus blue optics shot daggers at him. "Don't you dare, Optimus Prime! I'll send these reports after you even if it means personal couriers to the other side of Cybertron!"  
Optimus chuckled again. He was starting to feel like his old self again, his mind repairing itself further. He knew that soon this would be just a memory.  
Like everything.

* * *

A few more days passed.  
"And you still need a vacation!"  
Rodimus groaned softly and looked at the much smaller humanoid at his side. "Shan, please.... I have no time for this now!"  
"You have, even if I have to make this time for you. Roddy, you are totally stressed out!" Shanygn told him firmly.  
"Am not!" he said defiantly.  
"Oh, sure, and the white noise in my mind is just my over-active imagination, right?"  
"Exactly!" he answered cheerfully. "Now if you could let me finish this...."  
"Don't you even dare touch that pen!" the blue-haired woman in the exo-suit snapped, her voice like a whip, and Rodimus found himself flinching his hand away from his pen. "You ran the show for such a long time, with barely any help, with everyone turning to you, that you can't keep a clear thought in that thick head of yours! I know! I get them when they wander around lost in your mind!" She glared at him. "You either take a few days off voluntarily or I sic Silhouette and Optimus on you until you give in!"  
"Shan!"  
"I'm serious, Mr. Leader-Sir! You go freely or we'll drag you out kicking and screaming!"  
Rodimus blinked. He knew his partner was right. He was exhausted, both physically and emotionally, but he just wasn't ready to leave all the work to Optimus, even though the older leader was back for real now.  
"Optimus can take care of himself," Shanygn went on relentlessly. "And the others are back in shape as well. You are no longer needed."  
"Oh, thanks," he muttered.  
"Rodimus...." There was a definite warning in her voice now.  
"What did you have in mind, Ms Forced Vacation?" he then asked.  
"Some nice planet, away from it all, just relaxation and fun." She grinned wickedly. "And who said I'm coming along?"  
Rodimus blinked, then got the idea and shook his head. "No way. If I have to suffer through this vacation, so do you!"  
Shanygn stuck out his tongue. "Watch it, Roddy. In a few days you might wish I weren't there to bug you."  
He leaned forward, grinning. "Oh, you aren't bugging me at all. You are a natural pest."  
Shanygn grinned. "Thanks. Can I have that in writing?"  
[Etched into the north wall of West Central] he sent her.  
She laughed. [Go and get packing, big guy. Silhouette is already making travel arrangements]  
With that she left. Rodimus looked at the open file on his desk, then shrugged and was about to at least do the preliminaries when something struck him.  
[Don't you even think about it!] Shanygn broadcast.  
Rodimus growled something uncomplimentary about spying in Cybertronian at her, then closed the file. [Can I at least transfer them to Optimus or is that forbidden as well?]  
[Be my guest]  
[Thank you, your graciousness]  
Shanygn chuckled, then closed the link.  
Rodimus had to laugh as well, shaking his head. He had to confess that a vacation actually sounded quite nice.

* * *

"Hello, Spike."  
Spike smiled at the towering robot. "Hello, Optimus."  
Prime seemed to search for a way to start this conversation, then settled for a simple, "I heard about your .... decision."  
Spike watched the Autobot leader who he considered an old and very good friend. He looked for a sign of disapproval, but found none.  
"I stand to it, Optimus. You and I both know that something has to happen and this is how it will happen. If I can help it, I will influence it. I couldn't influence my first change, but this time I insist on having a word in it."  
"I understand you, Spike." And Spike felt Optimus told the truth. He did understand. "But do the others?"  
Spike knew who he was talking about. "I talked to my children. Daniel was a bit .... shocked. I'm not sure what I expected him to say or do. He was once so close to joining with Arcee...."  
Optimus nodded. Spike and Carly had more or less forced Daniel to separate from Arcee as a Headmaster and it had been a lot of pain and tears on both sides, but in the end it had been the best. Spike had always been the one to try and stay clear of anything that might make him into a robot because of his experiences as Autobot Spike, but the Tji attack on Nebulos had left him with no other choice than to become cybernetic to survive. And then he had joined the Protogen experiment.  
 Now.....  
"Melissa understood. I think she suspected it already. She's much more observant than I wish she was." He smiled wryly.  
Optimus gave an amused chuckle, the became serious. "I won't object to your decision, Spike. I accept it and I will accept you. You know the consequences and you know the risks."  
"Thank you," Spike said quietly, meeting the serious blue optics.

A few hours later he was on his way to med bay.


End file.
